A once-shining high-school choir lead vocalist fights to use her talent to elevate herself to the heights of success after her father falls on hard times.

Who or what is she fighting? Sounds like someone or something is trying to stop her from using her talent and she’s fighting in order to use it…but to what end? And how successful can one be singing high school choir? Is this competitive in some way? Is there a big prize? Doesn’t seem like there would be, in high school, for a student, therefore not a professional…

There could be a compelling drama somewhere in the story but this logline doesn’t tell us anything about it. It’s too vague. We need to know who she is, what she wants, what’s in her way, what’s at stake if she fails or succeeds, and we need something specific or concrete.