“King Bed”…
A paranormal investigator, injured and trapped in a bed, can only survive with help from an unscrupulous arsonist, a flesh-eating hound or the unwelcomed spirits he?s been hired to chase!
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I hear what you’re saying. However, the fact that he’s not “permanently” bedridden is irrelevant to the story, or so it would appear. Long term or short term, his “handicap” is one of the elements that will keep viewers wanting to know how he perseveres.
Good points, both. This arsonist is a probably really a burglar, and while I agree, they are usually “unscrupulous” either way, this one is particularly lacking in whatever ethics fellow arsonists and/or burglars might normally have!
The “injured and trapped” part WAS tricky (he’s NOT bedridden, in the standard sense of the word), because after he takes a shower in his client’s house, he breaks his leg in the bath, crawls to the bedroom, and falls into the bed, which in turn, swallows him up and traps him (or at least he thinks it does). Whether or not the bed, the hound, or the ghosts are real or in his imagination, is part of the mystery and fun of the project- I think!
The logline probably needs some work, but I simply wrote it when I posted it- all in one sitting. For a first effort, it’s probably not TOO bad!
I definitely like where the story is going. However, instead of saying “injured and trapped”, perhaps you could say “bedridden” instead. Just my two cents.
That’s a full on logline. Lots going on. Plenty of interest. Maybe too much going on?
Is it the injuries that are trapping him in bed? Because I would reword that part, “injuries trap him in bed”. It’s only minor, but otherwise it leaves you wondering what would trap someone in bed.
Unscrupulous is a nice word, but I think all arsonists are probably unscrupulous. And he doesn’t seem to fit with the other supernatural characters.
Does he have another goal other than survival? I find it’s always so much easier to write a character who’s chasing a goal, rather than running from one. But maybe that’s just me.
Just ends up being a little difficult to picture the story.