A professional doppelganger of a famous actor, impregnates both his wife and his lover. Using his fame as his currency, he pays a hefty price for adultery.
PstoneLogliner
A professional doppelganger of a famous actor, impregnates both his wife and his lover. Using his fame as his currency, he pays a hefty price for adultery.
Share
It sounds like one of the problems everyone is having over and over with this concept, and with each version of the logline, is that they’re unable to see a clear trajectory that the story is going to follow. The potential for conflict is there, but what form the meat and potatoes of the script will take is not concretely defined. As a result, it’s hard to gauge the tone and genre of the work. (Does he move his mistress into the home under the pretence of her being a live in maid? OR does his wife agree to the new living arrangement, and if so, what is the thread that begins to unravel? Does he leave them both? Does he confess to his wife and she leaves him, so he tries to make it work with his mistress and discovers he doesn’t love her …)
Which is why I think everyone is pointing out the need for a clearly defined GOAL. Once he learns that his mistress is pregnant, and he wants to raise the baby AND maintain both relationships (both very human, very relatable desires), what does he actually DO that forms the backbone of your narrative?
– It’s kind of like that film Locke … if Tom Hardy had gone home in the first act and immediately fessed up to his wife and tried to move his mistress in. The concept sounds like this definitely has potential, but it’s unclear how it all works. This logline doesn’t sell it well enough to want to know more.
My first suggestion would be to simplify the language you’re using in the logline, and to avoid being vague about anything (I’d drop the reference to “fame as currency” and “paying a hefty price.”)
“After a celebrity impersonator learns that both his wife and mistress are pregnant, …”
What happens next?
As the others have said.? This version gives the man a dramatic problem and dramatic consequences, “pays a hefty price”,? but it doesn’t give him a dramatic goal.
In line with the previous posts relating to this concept, there’s a severe lack of clarity in the latest attempt.
I’m not sure anything new can really be said about the latest version that hasn’t been said before, I suggest you study ALL the comments made on the other versions.
Remove all ambiguity ?pays a hefty price? is meaningless in isolation. You have to be as specific as possible.
Possible title: Dopple-Bang-Her (I was just kidding, don’t use this as your title, it’s just me and my weird sense of humor)
In this version of the logline, you haven’t given your lead character?a goal.
I am totally confused by that Logline.
Who is impregnated the wife and lover of the professional look-alike or the wife and lover of the famous actor?
Who is paying a hefty price for his adultery, the famous actor or the look-alike?
What does paying a hefty price means?
Now on the structure of the Logline itself, there does not seems to have any idea who is protagonist (the look-alike or the famous actor, nor inciting incident, nor any beginning of a plot.
When both his wife and his mistress fall pregnant, a famous actor tries to get out of this tricky situation by pinning the blame on a professional look-alike.
that version, if the protagonist is the famous actor. The next one if the professional look-alike is the protagonist.
After he is paid to take the blame for the mistress of a famous actor falling pregnant, a professional look-alike vows to protect the woman he was hired to deceive.