When Pistols Speak
WinterblastPenpusher
A profiling expert searchers for the mastermind behind her families tragic past, and finds herself in the twisted world of a group of disturbed psychologists who have been awaiting her arrival.
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This logline does’t describe a plot as there is no goal and inciting incident.
What does the profiling expert want?
Why does she want to get it now?
What is her flaw?
I think you meant possessive as appose to plural family’s instead of “?families?” if so her family’s tragic past should be described clearly. If they were killed or killed each other then best to mention this as it is a strong motivator.
Hope this helps.
Left the R off profiler. iPad sorry.
Tragic past is a little vague. Twisted and Disturbed in the same sentence feels wrong. One makes the other happen, a twisted world has disturbed people in it. You need to make this point, but you need to do it more elegantly.
Why would the expert know or assume there is a mastermind? Is that the start of your story?
“After learning a tragedy was no accident, a profile sets out to bring the mastermind to justice only to find a network of disturb psychologists willing to do anything to stop him”.
Not rewriting your story. Just an example from what I am guessing your story is.