Lament
mdfidelityPenpusher
A promising musician delves into dreams of a seductively beautiful violinist while trying to maintain reality with his wife and son.
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Using lucid dream techniques, a promising musician investigates his haunting visions and dreams while trying to maintain reality with his wife and son.
A promising musician investigates the reasons behind his haunting dreams and visions while maintaining reality with his wife and son.
The logline meets the criterion for brevity. And “delves into the dreams…” tells us what the musician does — well, sort of. What exactly does it mean to delve into another person’s dreams? Whatever it means, it seems rather vague, subjective, and intangible.
There seems to be the ingredients for the “B” story line of a movie — the love story, the romantic relationship. But a logline is primarily about, the “A” story line. And the “A” story line is about:
1] A protagonist (usually) with a flaw
2] Who struggles to achieve a specific (as opposed to vague) objective (as opposed to subjective), tangible (as opposed to intangible) goal.
3] A clearly defined antagonist or obstacle.
3] A sense of the stakes: what the protagonist stands to gain if he succeeds, loses if he fails.
Hope this helps. Good luck with your story.