Archangels
An archaeology student discovers three Angels in a tomb, who were violently made into humans by God. She reluctantly aids them in a search for a scared book to restore them to their natural form, so that they can exact their revenge and stop the “End of Times.”
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Cool!! “The Book of Eli” meets “Constantine” PS: get rid of the word “the”.
A reluctant archaeology student: A bit of clarification, is the student reluctant about archaeology or reluctant about helping the angels? Or reluctant about something else entirely?
He must be a reluctant archeology student to let this story make sense; he hates finding ancient objects, end must now in an impossible quest find the book that will stop the apocalypse.
My only question now is: why did he become an archeology student in the first place?…
Interesting subject matter and sounds like this has potential but the logline is cryptic and vague in its descriptions.
What is the inciting incident that starts off the story? Use this at the beginning of the logline then go into further detail about the plot.
The goal “…stop an oncoming apocalypse.” seems a bit out of the blue as it doesn’t follow on logically from the previous events. Helping angels get their wings back could happen regardless of the apocalypse, how do these angles directly relate to stopping the apocalypse?
The description used to for them becoming human “…violently?” is confusing. What does “…violently made human?” mean?
Is this related to the plot of the MC achieving his goal? If not best to drop it from the logline and describe his allies as; “fallen angels” or “angles forced into mortality”.
Hope this helps.
Is the ‘revenge’ against God? And the ‘End of Times’ is initiated by God? In that case, how these angels may help? Seems unbelievable! Replacing the word ‘God’ by ‘Demon’ makes more sense.
I like your logline but something is still missing. The question now becomes ‘why’ should she ‘reluctantly’ aid the angels to stop the apocalypse. Does she hate mankind and/or is she suicidal?
So now you have:
‘After a suicidal archaeology student discovers three fallen Angels in a tomb, she reluctantly guides them to a scared book that wil make them archangels (again), so they can bring their wrath upon God and stop the apocalypse.”
I like the phrase “the end of time” but the” apocalypse” is shorter.
It’s an interesting concept, but you need to refine it. What is the heart of the story? A woman helping angels restore their divinity so they can save the world? Or is it a revenge tale? Whose story is being told, the angels or the woman?