A rookie Senator facing his first vote reevaluates his platform and priorities when his wife is murdered in a mass shooting.
justlikeneon86Penpusher
A rookie Senator facing his first vote reevaluates his platform and priorities when his wife is murdered in a mass shooting.
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Nice. How does this impact the story? ?This is a scenario, what does he want to achieve and what is standing in his way?
He wants to run for the U.S. Senate, but after the murder starts to question everything. I think of it as him being caught between what his constituents/Washington (eventually) want to see, and the person he finds himself changing into as a result of what has happened.
It’s a good thing to put a protagonist in a situation where he is caught in the horns of a dilemma.
But a logline is a description of ?a plot, not a situation. ?It succinctly lays out the course of action the character takes as a result of the inciting situation.
So what is the plot, the objective goal the politician struggles toward as a result of the situation created by the death of his wife?
Loglines are about action the protagonist takes. ?Not what he wants to do — but what he actually does. So what does he actually do?
Great, how are you going to show that. Is there a specific physical goal that you are using as a metaphor? My take on Titanic.
An heiress wanting to escape her controlling fianc? falls in love with a penniless artist on board Titanic.
You buried the lead
“When his wife is killed in a mass shooting, a rookie senator faces off against his own party’s platform to insure it will never happen again.”
This sounds interesting about exploring not only the challenges politicians face from exterior forces, but now you turned it about inner motives. I assume you are tackling gun control head on with this?
I don’t much care for how rookie senator sounds. Perhaps young senator sounds better?
I think the term ‘rookie Senator’ works if he is going against his own party.
In practical terms, (This is just me speculating out loud) He is a first term Republican senator who has always believed in the 2nd Amendment and is considered an up-and-comer within the party.
When his wife is killed in a mass shooting he reevaluates his position on gun control. However doing so endangers his career within his own party.
(It would help if he is a swing vote on a controversial gun control bill, and the passing or failing of the bill depends on his vote.)
Richiev beat me to it.
I was going to suggest you make it so his party is for guns, but after his wife dies he is against guns.
So which party would best fit the bill (pardon the pun) and clarify that if he wants gun control he will be working against his own party?