Penpusher
Posted: 2016-08-17T22:58:45+10:00 In:

A Russian Orthodox farmer torches his home and leaves with his dog hours before Operation Barbarossa and the Nazis invade Russia.

A Russian Orthodox farmer torches his home and leaves with his dog hours before Operation Barbarossa and the Nazis invade Russia.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Logliner

      I like it but maybe change to this:

      A Russian Orthodox farmer torches his home and leaves with his dog hours before the Nazis invade Russia.

      Quicker and easier as I’ve never heard of OPERATION BARBAROSSA.

      • 0
    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      The end?

      As described in the logline, it would appear to be a 5 minute movie? He get’s some Gasoline, some matches burns his house then leaves with the dog… The End.

      Where’s the conflict?

      Is someone trying to stop him from burning his house?
      Is he in a wheel chair an cannot reach the matches on the top shelf?
      What is standing in the way of his goal of burning down his house?

      You have given us the inciting incident: The Nazi invasion.
      You have given us the character’s goal: Burning down his house
      You simply haven’t given us any conflict, something that stands in the way of the character achieving his goal.

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

      • 0
    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Why?

      What is his motivation to spark the flames of distraction so carelessly? It seems as if you’re missing an inciting incident, likely this is the event that pushed him to burn-baby-burn the house down.

      As Richiev asked, to what end? What goal does he hope to achieve?

      Lastly mentioning specific military campaigns is risky as the reader may well not know the details. I would take out the name of the operation and describe it instead, otherwise the stakes are not clear – most people won’t know what happened in Operation Barbarossa.

      • 0
    4. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Since Stalin was caught completely off guard by the Nazi invasion ?on June 22, 1941 in spite of warnings from his own intelligence services, ?is the farmer’s “scorched earth” act and flight coincidental or did he have some premonition that the invasion was about to occur? ? What is the ?cause and effect relationship between the invasion and his flight? ?Why did he torch his home and leave?

      And then what? ?Where is he headed? What becomes his objective goal, his destination?

      • 0