Final Request
carllordLogliner
A scarred American divorc? and a resolute Irish Banker who is terminally ill, race against time to rekindle their once vibrant romance before she dies.
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Yeh, I can see the motivation here. Feels like they need more of a concrete goal than rekindle their romance. Maybe you can say what exactly this involves. Only other thing I wasn’t sure about was whether the American was scarred physically or mentally, I guess the latter. Not sure the two types are set up for maximum conflict as none of them have anything to lose.
Okay how about something like this:
“After being diagnosed with cancer, a resolute Irish banker seeks out the love of her life only to discover he’s scarred from a previous relationship and hesitant to fall in love again.”
I like that much better. Sounds like a plausible drama people would be willing to watch. It outlines the goal and the obstacle while referencing the ghosts of the past. Good job.
Glad you like the new version. After I thought about it, I wanted a more dramatic struggle, with higher stakes to draw in an audience. Thanks for the feedback!
I also like your suggestion. I might play with that direction, and see what I come up with?