Penpusher
Posted: 2012-09-11T02:17:05+10:00 In:

A self-righteous Vigilante must face a surprise enemy before he can get revenge on his son?s killer?

The Executor

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    8 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      or:

      A self-righteous Vigilante wants revenge on his son?s killer but first has to defeat a surprise enemy…

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    2. Penpusher

      or:

      A long-suffering, grieving Vigilante is obsessed with revenge on his young son’s killer but first he must confront a ghost from his past…or pay with his life…

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    3. Logliner

      A grieving vigilante obsessed with finding his son’s killer must confront a ghost from his past or his family will pay the ultimate price.

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    4. Penpusher

      I like it Andrew, however…should the stakes relate to the goal ?

      I think it should it be the hero who pays the ultimate price, by not achieving his goal, because he’ll be dead…

      I like your idea about his family being at risk, which they are… but they’re at risk of losing the man they love – the Vigilante…if he either gets caught on his killing spree or if he gets killed by the kid soldier…

      The Vigilante must own up to making a wrong judgement call – he has to have a moral revelation that his actions – his random vigilante killings – are wrong…or the kid will kill him – NOT kill his family…

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    5. Logliner

      I agree with you, filmstar.
      But to me the line “Family will pay the ultimate price” is open to interpretation. It could mean that they may be killed by the kid seeking revenge, it could also mean them loosing their father / husband.
      The Vigilante is part of the family so he would be paying the price, either way you look at it, it works.

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    6. Penpusher

      Ah I see… Yes. Got it. Also, stakes being raised is good too which your logline does. I have got another problem tho: my hero’s goal at the start of the story is to find his sons killer. When one of his gang fucks up on a hit, he must find a replacement, so a more immediate goal arises. The kid he chooses forces him too see his actions are unjust, but also provides the clue to his sons killer… only after showing remorse at his past mistake – killing the kids innocent dad…

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    7. Penpusher

      So maybe: A self-righteous vigilante, obsessed with finding his sons killer, takes on a new recruit who forces him to confront a past mistake or risk losing his family forever…

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    8. Penpusher

      82

      9-11-12
      Filmstar says:
      So maybe: A self-righteous vigilante, obsessed with revenge, takes on a new recruit who forces him to confront a past mistake before he can uncover the identity of his sons killer…

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