Penpusher
Posted: 2016-06-21T16:26:40+10:00 In:

A single mom with 4 kids by different fathers tangle in an endless typical chore must choose between her kids and her handyman lover

A single mom with 4 kids by different fathers tangle in an endless typical chore must choose between her kids and her handyman lover
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    3 Reviews

    1. Mentor

      Hello, I like a lot the character of a mother with 4 sons from differents fathers,
      but to build a logline on a ‘choice’ is always bad. Choice is a matter of one scene, and it’s internal. This could be a foundamental element of the character’s developement but it has no place in the logline. I would appreciate more the concept if you tell straight what she must DO, something visual, plot elements not internal psychology.

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    2. Singularity

      The ?seems to have a serious problem with relationships. ? As FFF said, “making a choice” is ?one scene, the climax of the story.

      Meanwhile, what’s the story that builds to the scene? ?What is the plot that forces her to [finally] choose between her 4 kids and a 5th lover? ?Why does she have to make a choice NOW? ?Didn’t she have to make a choice between her kids and all her other lovers? ?What’s different about this situation?

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    3. Singularity

      There is a likability problem with your lead character. Why would we be interested in a woman who would even think about choosing between her children and a love interest.

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