A smart sophisticated woman has all the control in her career life but in her personal life, the control is slowly slipping out of her hand. One day, an encounter with her husband leads to a decision she’ll deeply regret.
IzLogliner
A smart sophisticated woman has all the control in her career life but in her personal life, the control is slowly slipping out of her hand. One day, an encounter with her husband leads to a decision she’ll deeply regret.
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Also the event should lead to a goal. What does your lead character want. (Specifically)
You buried the lead.
You should give us the inciting incident right at the beginning of the logline. and as dpg suggest be specific about what the decision is, since that is what sets the story in motion.
So what happens in the encounter — IOW: what specifically is the inciting incident?? Husbands and wives are always having encounters.? What’s unique about this encounter?
And as a result what is her decision — what becomes objective goal?
Loglines should not hide in a fog of generalities.? Tell, not tease.