untitled zombie movie
A soldier?s struggle to free himself from his dark past, turns into a fight for survival as he tries to protect the ones he loves from a global uprising of undead monsters, while facing a slew of surviving adversaries with their own plans.
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So far this sounds like something we have heard or seen before, there are a lot of zombie like movies out there so was wandering what is going to make this one stand above them? What is the big hook or irony? Do they have to be zombie’s? can they not be a new generation of monster? Is it during a war that this is all played out?
The log line gives us the movie but doesn’t give us something to make us pick it over another zombie movie. Want to know what makes it fresh?
Hope this helps
Kriss is right. I’d love to read one logline that didn’t reference a “dark past” as an obstacle, a “fight for survival” and a “global uprising” as the stakes, and “protecting the one’s he loves” as the goal.
At least, you called them “undead monsters” and not zombies.
Hey, I love zombies as much, if not more, than the next Undead-Head, but the object of the concept is to say something different, write something we haven’t seen- not only 100 times- but even once.
So, while the issue may NOT be in the logline itself, it is so void of anything tangible, any substance, that it really is hard to comment on.
On a positive note, I think you write loglines well enough, that, with the right elements, you could really nail one. Yours is forty three words long. The goal is thirty or under (think 10 words per line, three lines or less).
So, improve the elements (l-o-g-l-i-n-e acronym), and cut it down by ten or more, and your good to go!
Geno Scala (sharkeatingman), judge.
Thanks for the great feedback, will definitely change up the major plot structure in my story.