The second attempt at a logline or my recently-finished screenplay, rewritten based on Logline.it community suggestions.
A spoiled young woman rebels against her abusive father by seducing her way into organized crime; she soon falls in love with a mafia boss, only to discover her irresponsible behavior has made her the key element an enigmatic criminal conspiracy needs to take that mafia boss down.
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“the key element an enigmatic criminal conspiracy needs” seems, well, enigmatic.
The gist of the story, as far as I can make out, is that she discovers she is a piece being pushed around in someone else’s chess game. Which seems to make her passive, manipulated. If that is the case, then what does she proactively do about it? What is her objective goal in order to take charge of her own life, to become the master of her own game?
“the key element an enigmatic criminal conspiracy needs” seems, well, enigmatic.
The gist of the story, as far as I can make out, is that she discovers she is a piece being pushed around in someone else’s chess game. Which seems to make her passive, manipulated. If that is the case, then what does she proactively do about it? What is her objective goal in order to take charge of her own life, to become the master of her own game?