“Death by Blue”, a screenplay I recently finished.
A spoiled young woman rebels against her father and joins the mafia, only to have her irresponsible behavior put her in the middle of a decade-old power struggle between criminal factions.
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What does she want, how does she do it and what’s stopping her?
What does she want, how does she do it and what’s stopping her?
The idea of a woman joining the mafia is interesting. We normally see movies that center on male characters that do that and often their actions are cliche where as a woman could introduce a fresh take on the way in which she joins the mafia and what is done in the process.
Why did she decide to use the mafia to rebel?
Would be great to see in the logline an event that spurred her on to join the mafia. An event that pushed her to have to join the mafia in order to achieve a difficult goal.
“only to have her irresponsible behavior put her in the middle of a decade-old power struggle…” is redundant if she joins the mafia she will be put in the middle of something bad one way or another, message being: crime is bad.
If you could make her joining the mafia personal somehow then the story becomes even more interesting. Is there an injustice she is trying to fix? Or a wrong she is trying to make up for?
The audience can then invest in her emotionally because she isn’t doing it just for money or power.
This idea sounds like it has lots of potential, look forward to reading further drafts of the logline.
Hope this helps.
The idea of a woman joining the mafia is interesting. We normally see movies that center on male characters that do that and often their actions are cliche where as a woman could introduce a fresh take on the way in which she joins the mafia and what is done in the process.
Why did she decide to use the mafia to rebel?
Would be great to see in the logline an event that spurred her on to join the mafia. An event that pushed her to have to join the mafia in order to achieve a difficult goal.
“only to have her irresponsible behavior put her in the middle of a decade-old power struggle…” is redundant if she joins the mafia she will be put in the middle of something bad one way or another, message being: crime is bad.
If you could make her joining the mafia personal somehow then the story becomes even more interesting. Is there an injustice she is trying to fix? Or a wrong she is trying to make up for?
The audience can then invest in her emotionally because she isn’t doing it just for money or power.
This idea sounds like it has lots of potential, look forward to reading further drafts of the logline.
Hope this helps.
The mafia is not exactly an equal opportunity employer, certainly not in regards to women. Mob men are notorious male chauvinists. So the struggle of a woman to win acceptance, to gain respectability as a “made woman” is a story by itself.
The mafia is not exactly an equal opportunity employer, certainly not in regards to women. Mob men are notorious male chauvinists. So the struggle of a woman to win acceptance, to gain respectability as a “made woman” is a story by itself.