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BONIEPenpusher
Posted: May 16, 20192019-05-16T04:53:40+10:00 2019-05-16T04:53:40+10:00In: Thriller

A successful, married spends a night with a woman during a business trip, only to wake up mugged, a few days later the woman is a candidate in a job interview conducted by him and his wife.

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    5 Reviews

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    1. Ckharper Samurai
      2019-05-16T12:50:14+10:00Added an answer on May 16, 2019 at 12:50 pm

      What?s the conflict throughout this movie? Is the woman-theif now blackmailing the man for a job? What?s the job?

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2019-05-16T17:19:49+10:00Added an answer on May 16, 2019 at 5:19 pm

      You have created a situation, the story would be what the husband does when the woman shows up for the interview.

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    3. Ckharper Samurai
      2019-05-16T18:51:40+10:00Added an answer on May 16, 2019 at 6:51 pm

      I saw the comments but still don?t understand the story. It seems the wife is actually your protagonist and has set him up, but then what? She?s already successfully nailed her cheating husband. What?s next? Where?s the continuing conflict?

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    4. Mike Pedley Singularity
      2019-05-16T19:35:37+10:00Added an answer on May 16, 2019 at 7:35 pm

      As Richiev has pointed out, this is the setup – we need to know what the guy’s goal is. Or if the wife is the protagonist what her goal is. As setups go it’s an interesting one though!

      Is this a short? I can see this working well as a 15min film or so but I struggle to see it lasting longer than that as it currently stands. As soon as the job interview starts, there’s very limited places it can go.

      I’d recommend watching a film called Diaboliques. Great (French) film and has a similar(ish) premise.

      If the wife is trying to prove the husband is unfaithful I think it would be better to make her the protagonist. It would be difficult for the audience to get behind this guy whatever his goal is – cos chances are his goal is to get off the hook.

      Why does the woman mug him by the way? I’m not sure this is necessary both in the story but most definitely not in the logline. The mugging doesn’t change anything really – unless I’m missing something.

      Hope this helps.

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    5. dpg Singularity
      2019-05-16T21:28:12+10:00Added an answer on May 16, 2019 at 9:28 pm

      >>We later learn that the wife and the woman are working together. She needed to prove that his husband is unfaithful

      Well, she’s proved that in the 1st act.? Now what?? What’s the plot that follows from that setup?? And who is in the driver seat of the plot, the scheming wife or the duped husband?

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