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naghuntdworldLogliner
A teenage rebellion girl(18) accepts her friend?s $500 challenge to stay alone all overnight in the graveyard and experience series of fearful activities but an abnormal force cannot let her escape from graveyard.
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Why not? We have to know what she’s up against. The challenge from the friend, whilst setting up why she’s there, is like a precursor to the main event. Arguably the inciting incident is whatever appears that stops her from being able to leave. So we have to know what she’s dealing with.
So she’s a teenage girl. Are we talking 13 or 19? Big difference! What’s her defining characteristic?
What makes this plot different? As it currently stands, there is no hook. What is unique about this idea. That should be front and centre.
Hope this helps.
Here is an attempt, see how you like it.
“When a paranormal force traps her in a graveyard, a highschooler spending the night on a dare must discover the secret to banishing the malevolent entity if she is to escape by morning.”