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logeye
Posted: July 21, 20142014-07-21T07:56:14+10:00 2014-07-21T07:56:14+10:00In: Public

A temple virgin uncovers a secret that the high priest would rather conceal: the Day of Atonement isn't working anymore. When he marries her off to a hundred year-old man, she loses everything she's ever known. Now she must find a way to prevent another unjust marriage — and restore the Atonement — before it's too late.

Temple Virgin Book 1

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    10 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2014-07-21T08:16:23+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2014 at 8:16 am

      What religion is this and the geographical and historical setting?

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2014-07-21T08:16:23+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2014 at 8:16 am

      What religion is this and the geographical and historical setting?

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    3. Richiev Singularity
      2014-07-21T11:30:02+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2014 at 11:30 am

      You have two inciting incidents in the logline.

      She uncovers a secret
      When she’s married off to a hundred year-old man

      I would concentrate on the ‘day of atonement’ angle for the logline and keep the ‘forced marriage’ story for the script itself.
      —–
      “When a devout temple virgin discovers the ‘Day of Atonement’ isn’t working, she must battle against the power-hungry high priest who will stop at nothing to keep her knowledge a secret.”
      —–
      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2014-07-21T11:30:02+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2014 at 11:30 am

      You have two inciting incidents in the logline.

      She uncovers a secret
      When she’s married off to a hundred year-old man

      I would concentrate on the ‘day of atonement’ angle for the logline and keep the ‘forced marriage’ story for the script itself.
      —–
      “When a devout temple virgin discovers the ‘Day of Atonement’ isn’t working, she must battle against the power-hungry high priest who will stop at nothing to keep her knowledge a secret.”
      —–
      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    5. logeye
      2014-07-23T03:17:05+10:00Added an answer on July 23, 2014 at 3:17 am

      Supernatural fantasy world based on elements in Jewish and Christian legend. No glowing rock-giants though.

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    6. logeye
      2014-07-23T03:17:05+10:00Added an answer on July 23, 2014 at 3:17 am

      Supernatural fantasy world based on elements in Jewish and Christian legend. No glowing rock-giants though.

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    7. dpg Singularity
      2014-07-23T07:33:27+10:00Added an answer on July 23, 2014 at 7:33 am

      Not only does the logline have 2 inciting incidents, it has 2 objective goals.

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    8. dpg Singularity
      2014-07-23T07:33:27+10:00Added an answer on July 23, 2014 at 7:33 am

      Not only does the logline have 2 inciting incidents, it has 2 objective goals.

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    9. dpg Singularity
      2014-07-24T01:52:28+10:00Added an answer on July 24, 2014 at 1:52 am

      And what “isn’t working anymore” about Yom Kippur?

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    10. dpg Singularity
      2014-07-24T01:52:28+10:00Added an answer on July 24, 2014 at 1:52 am

      And what “isn’t working anymore” about Yom Kippur?

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