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clarebearPenpusher
Posted: August 21, 20152015-08-21T15:28:03+10:00 2015-08-21T15:28:03+10:00In: Public

A timid, admin clerk reluctantly chooses to be the only stable friend of an erratic, homeless woman she had idolised back when they were School Captain.

Caught Between A Rock and No Place

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    3 Reviews

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    1. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2015-08-22T12:28:16+10:00Added an answer on August 22, 2015 at 12:28 pm

      This is a scenario, what is a character goal? That would be a story. Being a friend is a noble thing but is demonstrated by action. These actions would be the story which is the goal.

      Hope this helps.

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    2. Michael Pulliam Penpusher
      2015-08-23T05:27:34+10:00Added an answer on August 23, 2015 at 5:27 am

      This idea seems promising but is a little thin on content.

      A few good questions to ask yourself:
      –What does the main character want? (This can illuminate why she’s reluctant.)
      –What’s in her way? (this is a great method for hooking readers.)
      –How can I give the the logline as much momentum as possible?

      From the logling, it’s not really clear where the story is going. Consider: “When a timid admin clerk suddenly becomes the only stable friend of an erratic homeless person, she unravels the haunting story of how her high-school idol fell from grace.”

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    3. Gaenhart Logliner
      2016-08-08T11:50:39+10:00Added an answer on August 8, 2016 at 11:50 am

      Untying the knot and fitting this into the suggested logline?template, you’d come up with something like :

      When an erratic, homeless woman?turns out to be the old School Captain she idolised,?a timid, admin clerk must become the tower of strength the woman needs.

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