A tough social worker takes fighting women’s rights into her own hands but can she put her cultural, religious and family obligations aside to fight for herself.
MintStreetPenpusher
A tough social worker takes fighting women’s rights into her own hands but can she put her cultural, religious and family obligations aside to fight for herself.
Share
You might want to watch the wording. If she is fighting women’s rights, that would mean she is fighting against women’s rights. However reading the rest of the logline that doesn’t seem to be the case.
You may want to re-word this slightly.
This describes a situation but not a plot.
A logline is used either as a structuring tool during script development, or a pitching tool once the script is complete in both cases its primary function is to describe a plot.
For a plot to be clear it needs to define a dramatic need that comes about as a result of an inciting incident and goal, both of which are missing in the current draft.
Ask why did she suddenly?decide to fight against violence? What exactly does she want achieve?
Best to re draft with the answers to these questions.
You should take Nir’s advice, it’s solid.
Also, I believe from reading this logline you are trying to say, the lead character fights for women to stand up for themselves but her own personal life is a mess and she isn’t taking her own advice, giving us a bit of Irony… I could be wrong about that.
If that is the case, it should be written clearer in the logline.
Whatever she’s fighting for is vaguely defined. What is the specific issue she must confront? ? How does ?cultural, religious and personal obligations translate into a specific problem that necessitates a specific objective goal in order to resolve?