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ajapplejacks88
Posted: June 6, 20152015-06-06T07:50:03+10:00 2015-06-06T07:50:03+10:00In: Public

A troubled teen is mysteriously abducted and transported to a secluded training facility, where he and a band of juvenile misfits encounter an otherworldly enemy in a struggle for survival.

Fragile Youth

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    3 Reviews

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    1. FFF Mentor
      2015-06-06T08:30:38+10:00Added an answer on June 6, 2015 at 8:30 am

      Hello, in my opinion you have a kind of structure in the genre of “maze runner” but you should add some small precise details to make the logline more original and interesting.

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    2. Winterblast Penpusher
      2015-06-08T02:56:26+10:00Added an answer on June 8, 2015 at 2:56 am

      It might be more interesting if the teen is not troubled – abducted teens that are not “troubled” is against the norm…and therefore more compelling. Maybe you could make the group “girls” to differentiate it more from the maze runner… these are just suggestions. Good luck!

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    3. Darion
      2015-06-12T11:29:23+10:00Added an answer on June 12, 2015 at 11:29 am

      Try to make the logline as succinct as possible. Eliminate the the word “transported”, since an abduction already gives us that he was “taken”. Obvious somewhere. For the lead, how about adding a personal trait that makes him stand out, let’s suppose, juvenile tactician. A key detail since he’s gonna go head to head with a superior out-world intellect.

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