CRYPT
ParmigianoPenpusher
A vengeance-driven PI hires an intellectual cat-burglar to help her investigate a murder that links a multinational tech giant to a notorious cybercriminal.
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“A vengeance driven…” Seems a little clumsy, try to make it more direct and action based, “seeking vengeance …”, “intellectual cat burglar” is descriptive but doesn’t relate to the story “intellectual” doesn’t tell us what motivates him in the story.
You should tell us what he is seeking vengeance for.
Agreed with the above comments also the logline doesn’t describe a clear goal. It only says they will investigate a murder but then what? Put the CEO of the multinational giant in jail or kill him or her?
Hope this helps.
You’ve mentioned four separate characters/entities but I have no idea of anyone’s goals or conflicts…
What makes an “intellectual” cat burglar qualified to investigate cyber crime? In my last job, I provided tech support for scores of “intellectuals” — very smart people with advanced degrees in art, philosophy, history, etc — but when it came to computer technology they were functional morons.