A woman wakes from an experiment she can?t remember signing up for, and is told she can leave as soon as the rest of her memories return. But when the other patients start disappearing without a trace, she begins to doubt whether the memory existed in the first place.
LironahPenpusher
A woman wakes from an experiment she can?t remember signing up for, and is told she can leave as soon as the rest of her memories return. But when the other patients start disappearing without a trace, she begins to doubt whether the memory existed in the first place.
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It?s a little hard to understand.? Maybe you could clarify the setting. (a future lab?)? I think you could cut down on a few words to make it more concise and give the main character a better title than ?Woman?.? + give her a flaw.. something to make her interesting? ?
As FFF said.
The logline ?has dramatic potential, it sets up an interesting situation, but unfortunately ?it wants for dramatic narrative. ?The inciting incident seems to be the disappearance of other patients. ?And an inciting incident should incite — trigger — action, cause a character to do something. ?But in this logline the character seems to just ?sit there. ?She doubts — but doesn’t act on her doubts. ?What must she do about her doubts? ?And what’s at stake? ?What does she stand to gain or lose?
I can’t see a plot here, the logline is too vague for me.?Think about what we will actually SEE in the movie. An amnesiac woman in a hospital…. DOING what? The main character seems too passive. Focus about the action.