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KeeksboutitPenpusher
Posted: November 4, 20172017-11-04T13:22:26+10:00 2017-11-04T13:22:26+10:00In: Drama

A womanizer music mogul, finds himself wrapped up in a sexual abuse scandal after finding true love with a beautiful singer who shapes him into a better man.

A womanizer music mogul, finds himself wrapped up in a sexual abuse scandal after finding true love with a beautiful singer who shapes him into a better man.
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    6 Reviews

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    1. ryanrevland Logliner
      2017-11-04T15:32:24+10:00Added an answer on November 4, 2017 at 3:32 pm

      Very nice.? I like that it’s relevant to today’s headlines.

      What are the stakes?? Will he get sued and lose his record label?? Will he lose his true love?? Which one would he choose if he had to?? ?Why should I be worried about this character?? Is he guilty of this crime?? How does he vindicate himself?

      Just some things to think about while you punch it up.

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    2. Keeksboutit Penpusher
      2017-11-04T16:16:50+10:00Added an answer on November 4, 2017 at 4:16 pm

      After finding true love with a passionate singer who tries to shape him into a better man. A womanizer music mogul, finds himself wrapped up in a sexual abuse scandal and must make a choice to save his relationship or his record label.

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-11-04T23:16:36+10:00Added an answer on November 4, 2017 at 11:16 pm

      The obstacle is vague. What is the moral dilemma? In what way will he have to choose between the relationship and career? The specifics of how the career and relationship clash need to be described because as it is now, that doesn’t make much sense – why will they be a problem? Does he have to fly away and leave the woman he loves?

      Also, is he innocent or guilty? Either way, it needs to be stated, and it’s worth noting that if he is guilty I’m not sure that the audience would care much for his story.

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    4. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-11-05T00:30:22+10:00Added an answer on November 5, 2017 at 12:30 am

      You may as well place: THE END at the end of your logline. You gave away the whole story. Change a few words so that someone has a goal that will be fullfilled before the end of the movie. It must be the protagonist too. Is it the man or the woman, not sure from reading it.The reason why we want to see act 3 and how the story will be resolved.

      This reminds me of Pretty Woman a little.

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    5. dpg Singularity
      2017-11-05T02:20:15+10:00Added an answer on November 5, 2017 at 2:20 am

      Agree with Nir Shelter: “it?s worth noting that if he is guilty I?m not sure that the audience would care much for his story.”

      In the current zeitgeist,? I think that renders the story DOA.

      Also the original logline makes the love interest? the protagonist character rather than the mogul.? She’s tasked with the stereotypical role of being his rescuer.? If she’s a better person than he is, why doesn’t she engineer his overthrow and take over the business herself?

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    6. Richiev Singularity
      2017-11-05T08:49:49+10:00Added an answer on November 5, 2017 at 8:49 am

      This is more of a situation, The story would be what the lead does about the allegations.

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