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solosammerLogliner
Posted: June 15, 20162016-06-15T12:35:07+10:00 2016-06-15T12:35:07+10:00In: Fantasy

After being wrongfully accused of murder, Herakles is sentenced to ten labors as punishment whilst searching for the true killer.

After being wrongfully accused of murder, Herakles is sentenced to ten labors as punishment whilst searching for the true killer.
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    5 Reviews

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    1. [Deleted User]
      2016-06-15T15:32:43+10:00Added an answer on June 15, 2016 at 3:32 pm

      I like how it “flows” together, but I think its a bit confusing to say he committed murder and then say that he was wrongfully accused.
      it could be
      in order to be absolved for murder that he did not commit, a wrongfully accused demigod must complete ten labors whilst in search of the true killer.
      or you could just say “in order to be absolved for murder, a-
      otherwise it gives me a pretty clear sense of story, character and theme. It could do with a sense of place though. Where is he searching for the killer?

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-06-15T18:28:38+10:00Added an answer on June 15, 2016 at 6:28 pm

      Hi Solosammer

      In future please re post new drafts of a logline in the same thread as the original, this way we can all keep track of its?developments over time.

      The wording in this confusing and the concept is unclear. Why must he complete these labours in order to absolve himself? How does this work connect to the murders?

      Secondly which is his goal; to be absolved or find the real killer?
      Either way best to specify only one goal in the logline and focus on the plot to achieve it.

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    3. Richiev Singularity
      2016-06-15T23:17:51+10:00Added an answer on June 15, 2016 at 11:17 pm

      Is this story about?Hercules?

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2016-06-15T23:51:26+10:00Added an answer on June 15, 2016 at 11:51 pm

      I have long been interested in Greek mythology because it is so rich in archetypal characters and themes. ?The roots of the popular paradigm , “The Hero’s Journey” ?are deeply embedded in those myths.

      Obviously, there is something about the mythical character of Herakles that strongly appeals to you. ?I appreciate your effort to fashion an interesting story out of the myth. ?However, I just ?don’t see how the?myth in ?its primitive?form would captivate a modern audience. ?I suggest the character and the myth need an updating to become relevant to our times.

      I don’t know have any ideas how to update to make it relevant and appealing to modern audiences as a drama. ?As a comedy, maybe, but that would entail tweaking the original inciting incident, the murder of his whole family, which is too awful to exploit for humor.

      Anyway, the challenge is to modernize the myth. ?Best wishes in discovering something new in something old.

      fwiw

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    5. FFF Mentor
      2016-06-16T21:27:25+10:00Added an answer on June 16, 2016 at 9:27 pm

      Hello, if it’s about Hercules I suggest to include the character’s name in the logline (when the character is well known, giving his name is the shortest way to tell a lot about him).
      Wasn’t the labors 12?

      What I like in this concept is that it introduces a murder investigation in a well known myth. In the myth, Hercules killed his wife and children under the influence of a evil Goddess. What if he was innocent… or not?

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