El/Isa. sci-fy, sitcom
A young amnesiac and terribly clumsy woman must rely on the help of a strange psychologist to remember that she is a super heroine who holds the key to stop a mad scientist who's about to attempt a quantum experiment that could destroy humanity.
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Agree with Valentin that the concept might work better as a comedy.
Agree with Valentin that the concept might work better as a comedy.
I think that the concept of an amnesiac super heroine works better as a sitcom.
30 minutes episode in which she must save the world. Every day her friends have to convince her that she is a super heroine and she has super power. Obviously she initially does not believe them and think that THEY are crazy. Because she will use her power when she is in danger or sense somebody she cares is in danger, her friends have then to do all sort of things to force her to use her power. Once convinced that she has super power, instead of trying to save earth, she could be very shallow and try to abuse her power (shopping, …).
She needs to have a kryptonite that the heroine would be attracted to: Cake, red shoes, …
Using the usual sitcom archetype characters:
The square: she is the square character or the personality she has are.
The wisecracker: slacker who uses the fact that she is amnesiac to not pay his due and financially exploit the situation. Maybe a family member, a brother/sister/cousin.
The bully: the stupid baddy who tries to take over the world and always fail. The baddy secretly hope that they would be BFF. Most of his plan then backfire against him/her.
The Dork/Geek: the one who tries to solve the solution. Has read all the books on amnesia or personality disorder. Usually knows the answer, but nobody listen to him. Often save the day, but somebody else take credit for it.
The Goofball: the out there character. Think Phoebe in Friends, Kramer in Seinfeld, Daphne in Frasier.
I think that the concept of an amnesiac super heroine works better as a sitcom.
30 minutes episode in which she must save the world. Every day her friends have to convince her that she is a super heroine and she has super power. Obviously she initially does not believe them and think that THEY are crazy. Because she will use her power when she is in danger or sense somebody she cares is in danger, her friends have then to do all sort of things to force her to use her power. Once convinced that she has super power, instead of trying to save earth, she could be very shallow and try to abuse her power (shopping, …).
She needs to have a kryptonite that the heroine would be attracted to: Cake, red shoes, …
Using the usual sitcom archetype characters:
The square: she is the square character or the personality she has are.
The wisecracker: slacker who uses the fact that she is amnesiac to not pay his due and financially exploit the situation. Maybe a family member, a brother/sister/cousin.
The bully: the stupid baddy who tries to take over the world and always fail. The baddy secretly hope that they would be BFF. Most of his plan then backfire against him/her.
The Dork/Geek: the one who tries to solve the solution. Has read all the books on amnesia or personality disorder. Usually knows the answer, but nobody listen to him. Often save the day, but somebody else take credit for it.
The Goofball: the out there character. Think Phoebe in Friends, Kramer in Seinfeld, Daphne in Frasier.
Hi Bomarc
I found this draft of the logline confusing. I understand what your trying to do with focusing on “…the situation…” but in my mind this is the wrong approach for a logline.
In my opinion good loglines start with;
when a something happens to a someone that is of this description, they have to do this…
or
when a someone of this description has this thing happen to them they have to do this…
This draft has;
when a someone (MC) of this description (super hero) and this description (amnesiac) after that thing (accident) during that other thing (on a mission) has this thing happen to them (become a patient of a shrink) with this description (personality disorder) for this reason (retrieve her memory) description of the world (not safe place).
In short this logline doesn’t describe a story rather elements in the plot and setting. Karel Segers has a good little formula that helps with the basic structure of a logline here it is:
When a {major event} happens {the MC} must {do the main action} and learn to {over come the flaw}.
If the way they overcome the flaw is significant then add that into the logline as well.
Hi Bomarc
I found this draft of the logline confusing. I understand what your trying to do with focusing on “…the situation…” but in my mind this is the wrong approach for a logline.
In my opinion good loglines start with;
when a something happens to a someone that is of this description, they have to do this…
or
when a someone of this description has this thing happen to them they have to do this…
This draft has;
when a someone (MC) of this description (super hero) and this description (amnesiac) after that thing (accident) during that other thing (on a mission) has this thing happen to them (become a patient of a shrink) with this description (personality disorder) for this reason (retrieve her memory) description of the world (not safe place).
In short this logline doesn’t describe a story rather elements in the plot and setting. Karel Segers has a good little formula that helps with the basic structure of a logline here it is:
When a {major event} happens {the MC} must {do the main action} and learn to {over come the flaw}.
If the way they overcome the flaw is significant then add that into the logline as well.
Wow great advice thanks!
This time, I wanted to try something completely different. No focus on the back story neither on the whole plot. Just the situation of a super hero who can’t remember she’s one and the shrink that don’t help her that much. And try to suggest the many situations it can create for a sitcom.
what do you think :
“When a Super Heroine who turned amnesiac after an accident on a mission become the patient of a shrink with personality disorder to retrieve her memory, the world is not a safe place to be…”
Wow great advice thanks!
This time, I wanted to try something completely different. No focus on the back story neither on the whole plot. Just the situation of a super hero who can’t remember she’s one and the shrink that don’t help her that much. And try to suggest the many situations it can create for a sitcom.
what do you think :
“When a Super Heroine who turned amnesiac after an accident on a mission become the patient of a shrink with personality disorder to retrieve her memory, the world is not a safe place to be…”
If this is a comedy think of the premise that will provide the comic element.
Is she a fish out of water? Is this a play on dramatic irony? Is this an exercise in futility by the MC ignoring the flaw? All of the above? etc…
Then build that into the logline that describes the very first event that places her in the “new” situation that sets up the whole series.
As previously mentioned best to focus a logline for a series on the pilot episode that sets up the premise that in turn will allow for the ongoing schtick in the series.
If this is a comedy think of the premise that will provide the comic element.
Is she a fish out of water? Is this a play on dramatic irony? Is this an exercise in futility by the MC ignoring the flaw? All of the above? etc…
Then build that into the logline that describes the very first event that places her in the “new” situation that sets up the whole series.
As previously mentioned best to focus a logline for a series on the pilot episode that sets up the premise that in turn will allow for the ongoing schtick in the series.
Then I suggest focusing the logline on the pilot episode that sets up — and sells — the entire series.
Then I suggest focusing the logline on the pilot episode that sets up — and sells — the entire series.
Yes she does retain her super power. But she can’t control them anymore. Therefore when one of them shows up instinctively, it create a humorous situation and serve as a piece of the puzzle to discover that she is not an ordinary women…
Yes she does retain her super power. But she can’t control them anymore. Therefore when one of them shows up instinctively, it create a humorous situation and serve as a piece of the puzzle to discover that she is not an ordinary women…
Even if she loses her memory, doesn’t she retain her super powers? (Whatever they are) She doesn’t know why she is so different, what to do with her abilities?
Even if she loses her memory, doesn’t she retain her super powers? (Whatever they are) She doesn’t know why she is so different, what to do with her abilities?
By the way, sorry if my english is not perfect but I write this show in french…
By the way, sorry if my english is not perfect but I write this show in french…
Thanks dpg and Nir,
Higher stacks and ticking clock are pretty good ideas.
I think some stuff needs to be clarify. Writing the episodes took the initial idea to a completely new direction and now I gotta deal with writing a logline afterward.
In facts the whole super hero thing is like the back story which will uncover near the end of the first season. It start when the hero loose her memory while on a mission and wake up in an another country not having a clue who she is.
The first season arc is really about the hero building a new life but slowly discovering who she is and what’s her “destiny” by going trough all kind of crazy and funny experiments that the shrink is putting on her. The shrink got personal interests in getting her memory back (he is a fake ally). That’s why he seems strange… the episodes always start with the shrink session and lead to the hero living an experience teaching her a little more about who she is. It’s a sitcom not an action flick.
Season 2 is about learning to be a super hero again.
Season 3 is about stopping the mad scientist plans.
Should the logline reflect the first season only or the whole story?
I’ll work on a new version that includes your comments.
Thanks dpg and Nir,
Higher stacks and ticking clock are pretty good ideas.
I think some stuff needs to be clarify. Writing the episodes took the initial idea to a completely new direction and now I gotta deal with writing a logline afterward.
In facts the whole super hero thing is like the back story which will uncover near the end of the first season. It start when the hero loose her memory while on a mission and wake up in an another country not having a clue who she is.
The first season arc is really about the hero building a new life but slowly discovering who she is and what’s her “destiny” by going trough all kind of crazy and funny experiments that the shrink is putting on her. The shrink got personal interests in getting her memory back (he is a fake ally). That’s why he seems strange… the episodes always start with the shrink session and lead to the hero living an experience teaching her a little more about who she is. It’s a sitcom not an action flick.
Season 2 is about learning to be a super hero again.
Season 3 is about stopping the mad scientist plans.
Should the logline reflect the first season only or the whole story?
I’ll work on a new version that includes your comments.
I would add that the point at which the story starts is very important for a series so try adding an inciting incident as well.
I would add that the point at which the story starts is very important for a series so try adding an inciting incident as well.
A super heroine suffering from anterograde amnesia must rely on a skeptical psychiatrist to remind her every day to stop a mad scientist from a quantum experiment that will destroy the earth.
“destroy the earth” — up the stakes: why limit them to homo sapiens. Shouldn’t a quantum experiment destroy everything?
“skeptical” — he doesn’t believe her story, but indulges her “delusion” as part of her therapy. If not skeptical that than the logline needs something better than “strange” which is too vague.
I suggest adding a ticking clock, a dooms day to increase the urgency. But you specified you have in mind a series. Do you want to stretch it out indefinitely? How long do you think you can sustain the premise (earth about to be destroyed) and the gimmick (but she can’t remember to stop it)?
A super heroine suffering from anterograde amnesia must rely on a skeptical psychiatrist to remind her every day to stop a mad scientist from a quantum experiment that will destroy the earth.
“destroy the earth” — up the stakes: why limit them to homo sapiens. Shouldn’t a quantum experiment destroy everything?
“skeptical” — he doesn’t believe her story, but indulges her “delusion” as part of her therapy. If not skeptical that than the logline needs something better than “strange” which is too vague.
I suggest adding a ticking clock, a dooms day to increase the urgency. But you specified you have in mind a series. Do you want to stretch it out indefinitely? How long do you think you can sustain the premise (earth about to be destroyed) and the gimmick (but she can’t remember to stop it)?
Would really like your input on this one. It’s a web series I’m developing. Although I think I got all the good ingredients its seems a little long for a logline.
-a protagonist and antagonist
-a personal and a universal quest
-high stakes
-irony
Can you see humour potential in it?
Thanks
Would really like your input on this one. It’s a web series I’m developing. Although I think I got all the good ingredients its seems a little long for a logline.
-a protagonist and antagonist
-a personal and a universal quest
-high stakes
-irony
Can you see humour potential in it?
Thanks