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AO31Logliner
Posted: August 18, 20162016-08-18T12:04:10+10:00 2016-08-18T12:04:10+10:00In: Adventure

A young man cursed by the blood of pirates that flows within him , promises his dying sister to find the famous treasure left by his father ”The lord of the oceans”.

A young man cursed by the blood of pirates that flows within him , promises his dying sister to find the famous treasure left by his father ”The lord of the oceans”.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. [Deleted User]
      2016-08-20T00:43:27+10:00Added an answer on August 20, 2016 at 12:43 am

      How does the curse connect to the treasure? can only pirates ancestors find it? Is it an obstacle or does it help him in his quest? I am?very confused by this “pirate’s blood” and it’s significance or relevance to the story.

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2016-08-19T10:09:47+10:00Added an answer on August 19, 2016 at 10:09 am

      What does “Cursed by the blood of pirates” mean?

      Since the curse is an important part of the logline, I would work on helping the reader understand what it means.

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    3. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2016-08-18T21:59:51+10:00Added an answer on August 18, 2016 at 9:59 pm

      It would be too long to do this. ?If you added “but…” To the end, that would be where your logline would really start.

      A young man takes to the sea to recover his pirate father’s treasure, but …….

      What prevents him from just getting the treasure and how does he defeat it?

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2016-08-18T12:19:06+10:00Added an answer on August 18, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      He wants to find the treasure but why does he need? to find it?

      And what is at stake besides personal gain, getting rich? ?What does he stand to lose if he fails?

      And who ?is the competition for the treasure? ?For the purpose of dramatic tension, a treasure hunt requires a competitor, at least one other party who is the odds on favorite to find the treasure first. ?

      And the competitor (as antagonist) also needs to be an element in the logline.

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