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lisaxgeisPenpusher
A young pyromaniac makes friends with a group of self-avowed Satanists. Things go wrong when one of her new friends tries to exploit her fire-starting tendencies for their own goal.
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>>>for their own goal
Which is?
Who is in the protagonist?? Which is to say, who is in the driver’s seat of the plot?? The pyromaniac or the Satanists?? The logline seems to frame the pyromaniac as the one acted upon rather than the actor who makes the plot happen.? If the pyromaniac is the protagonist, what is her objective goal?? Try running your logline through the site logline generator.
I think you need to change this just a tiny little bit,
Right now there is only the vaguest notion of conflict, (You say “Things go wrong”) but honestly a pyromaniac and a group of Satanists sounds like a perfect match.
As a result I would change this to the lead character trying to stop setting fires, She is reformed, or trying to reform, that way, when she meets the Satanist who try to get her to start fires again, you will have conflict.
(This way the lead will also be more sympathetic if she is fighting against her pyromaniac nature)
“burn a church” because it’s a [pyromaniac + satanists] plot. Make the church as big and important as possible. Raise the stakes.
“prove her worth” to the cult’s leader, a mother/father figure. This will create an inner conflict and a journey. She thinks she must prove her worth to her new family, by doing as they say, but she knows it’s wrong.
“rehabilitated” because it implies backstory, addiction, relapse, weakness, but also an effort to get better.
“find acceptance in a new family” because it implies rejection from her own family. I always find it interesting as a backstory. In Boogie Nights, Dirk Diggler gets rejected by his mum, but he finds a new family in the porn industry.
“manipulative” or “obsessive” because it implied that the leader considers their cause more important than the relationship with the protagonist?they will use her.
The leader can be male or female, depending on the dynamics you want to give. She will be a mother figure or he will be a father figure?this will blend with the protagonist’s backstory wound.
I don’t know if this is the story you want to tell, but I am totally hooked.