A young talented street musician is beginning a new life with his brother to realize the dream of a common band. But his childhood traumas and a flubbed school performance in the past preventing him to show his full talent on stage and driving him into the arms of a greedy music producer who has his own plans for the two brothers.

You’ve got most of the elements of a good logline here, but you can really improve it by tightening it up. 62 words is way too much for a logline – you want to try to get it to around 30 words or less.

One thing you can do is remove the stuff about the childhood traumas and such. That’s backstory – you don’t need it in a logline. Better to refer to it through the descriptive words used to describe your MC.

Maybe something like this:

After he and his brother start a band, a talented busker with a troubled past finally gets his big break, only to find their greedy producer is exploiting them for his own self-interests.

Hope this helps – good luck.

I like the introduction and setup — with less words of course.

But the story starts when the MC (street musician), starts to suspect his deal is not so sweet (inciting incident). However the logline does not really state the problem.

Was the contract written with invisible ink?
Is the manager the Devil incarnate and now the boys are going to hell?
Is the manager using them as drug mules to transport drugs to Canada?
Is the manager secretly recording their music and selling it on the internet?

Don’t know. It’s a little vague.

Plus without a problem, it is hard to know what’s at stake. You maybe have 20-30 pages of script to setup and get to the inciting incident and then writer’s block.