Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
zone4Penpusher
Posted: July 5, 20162016-07-05T14:25:24+10:00 2016-07-05T14:25:24+10:00In: Fantasy

A young woman suffering from anxiety must partner with her arch enemy, in order to save her baby and subsequently, her world.

A young woman suffering from anxiety must partner with her arch enemy, in order to save her baby and subsequently, her world.
  • 0
  • 4 4 Reviews
  • 929 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    4 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. dpg Singularity
      2016-07-05T23:32:15+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2016 at 11:32 pm

      The cause of the anxiety can’t just be all in her mind. ?It must have something to do with a real threat in the real world. ?What is the specific threat to herself, her baby, to her world that requires her to act? ?And as a result of the specific threat, what must she do? ?What is her objective goal?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-07-05T17:05:31+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      Best to focus a logline on one goal not two. In this case you have save the baby and save the world – which is it?

      Saving the baby pales in comparison to saving the world, I suggest re drafting the logline so it focuses the MC’s action on that.

      Secondly, why now? Why MUST she partner with her arch enemy NOW and not last year or in 6 months from now? What happened that made her HAVE to partner with the enemy? In other words what is her inciting incident?

      Lastly, and on a lesser note, describing the MC as a young woman adds very little to the story – there are many young women in the world. Best to describe her in a more unique manner , you could use her job or title (if she has one) instead.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. Richiev Singularity
      2016-07-05T17:04:54+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2016 at 5:04 pm

      From?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. Marcello Lanfranchi Logliner
      2016-07-05T16:59:17+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2016 at 4:59 pm

      What is it about “her world” that’s different than “the” world? That sticks out in my mind as needing clarification. I also might use an adjective for anxiety, like “severe” or something. Otherwise, how is she different than anyone else? Everyone’s anxious these days. Also, tell us something about her nemesis or why they’re rivals.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,712

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.