Penpusher
Posted: 2018-05-12T06:16:14+10:00 In:

After a crisis of faith forces him to leave his 17-year career, a restless pastor must create a new tribe for himself and the other spiritually homeless.

After a crisis of faith forces him to leave his 17-year career, a restless pastor must create a new tribe for himself and the other spiritually homeless.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      What happens if he doesn’t?
      (relate to “who is he proving himself to and why”)

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    2. Singularity

      As variable said. If you have a ‘must‘ you must have an ‘or else‘… or else the logline will seem unfinished. :)?

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    3. Singularity

      Just curious, where is the conflict?

      Your lead has a crisis of faith (You might want to add a reason, “When his son dies of cancer, causing him to have a crisis of faith” [for instance])
      He leaves his ministry (So far so good)
      He creates a tribe for himself and the spiritual needy (Great)

      The end

      (You haven’t told us what is standing in his way, what your lead must overcome)

      Story is conflict

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    4. Singularity

      There may be an interesting drama here, but it’s hard for me to get a grip on what the story is about.

      The logline lacks a clearly defined inciting incident.? For the purpose of plotting, the spiritual crisis is not the inciting incident.? It is not the First Cause that sets the plot in motion.? Rather it is a consequence, the result of a traumatic suffering, a shocking discovery, a terrible setback — some event that shatters the pastor’s world and world view and causes him to question his faith.? That event is the inciting incident.? What is it?

      Also, I notice that the logline indicates that while he leaves his profession, he does not abandon his calling.? He still believes he has been called to be a shepherd? of men,? a spiritual leader.? But now he’s looking to round up a new flock to follow him, one composed of spiritual sheep wandering in the wilderness of doubt and despair.

      It’s typical for fallen spiritual leaders to believe they still have a calling , no matter how far from grace they have fallen.? As Robert Duvall? portrayed on in his 1997 film “The Apostle”, where the? protagonist is? deeply flawed,? a womanizer, a drinker,? who never abandons his faith in his calling no matter how? may times he strays off the strait and narrow path of righteousness.? (Which is frequently and greatly.)

      What is this pastor’s character flaw?? What personal problem must he overcome to achieve his goal of raising up a new flock?? (His spiritual crisis is a problem that may arise from a character flaw, but by itself it does not constitute a flaw.)

      fwiw

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