Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
blajay
Posted: March 6, 20132013-03-06T19:53:21+10:00 2013-03-06T19:53:21+10:00In: Public

After a reformed ex-gang member's sister is raped and left for dead, he struggles to walk the straight and narrow as his stepmother blames him.

SOAP

  • 0
  • 6 6 Reviews
  • 1,034 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    6 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. timmyelliot
      2013-03-07T08:58:15+10:00Added an answer on March 7, 2013 at 8:58 am

      I like the setup so far, ex-gang member, raped sister, guilt-tripping mother. I’d like to hear more about what he specifically does about his situation: “he struggles to walk the straight and narrow” is a little vague. It could almost apply to any good guy in any story.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Kriss Tolliday
      2013-03-07T19:54:05+10:00Added an answer on March 7, 2013 at 7:54 pm

      I agree with Timmy, this doesn’t inform us of what he is going to have to do. Is he wrestling with his conscience of whether to gain revenge? Does he plan to get it therefore breaking everything he has fought to leave behind? Is it his stepmother he has to do battle with to clear his name of blame? As mentioned above struggling to walk the straight and narrow is far too vague.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. 2013-03-07T21:01:17+10:00Added an answer on March 7, 2013 at 9:01 pm

      Returning from prison, a reformed ex-gang leader’s sister is raped and left for dead. With his stepmom blaming him, he struggles with reversion and hunts the culprits.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. blajay
      2013-03-07T21:15:44+10:00Added an answer on March 7, 2013 at 9:15 pm

      Returning from prison, a reformed ex-gang leader’s sister is raped and left for dead. With his stepmom blaming him, he struggles with reversion and hunts the culprits.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    5. timmyelliot
      2013-03-08T06:55:32+10:00Added an answer on March 8, 2013 at 6:55 am

      I like the ideas. My only suggestion would be to make it more surprising. Recidivism and revenge was exactly what I expected when I read the set-up. Recidivism is a well-known issue in our prison system, and an ex-con bent on revenge is tired. Why care should I care your story, when I can read it on the cnn website?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    6. blajay
      2013-03-08T08:11:55+10:00Added an answer on March 8, 2013 at 8:11 am

      Thanks Timmy and Kriss. Appreciate your comments. His hunt for the truth is to find them, expose them and make them pay… Remember the ending of Black Rain? Carlito’s way? Not that my script is similar to those but its not what we think will happen, happens.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,710

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.