Posted: 2013-03-06T19:53:21+10:00 In:

After a reformed ex-gang member's sister is raped and left for dead, he struggles to walk the straight and narrow as his stepmother blames him.

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    6 Reviews

    1. I like the setup so far, ex-gang member, raped sister, guilt-tripping mother. I’d like to hear more about what he specifically does about his situation: “he struggles to walk the straight and narrow” is a little vague. It could almost apply to any good guy in any story.

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    2. I agree with Timmy, this doesn’t inform us of what he is going to have to do. Is he wrestling with his conscience of whether to gain revenge? Does he plan to get it therefore breaking everything he has fought to leave behind? Is it his stepmother he has to do battle with to clear his name of blame? As mentioned above struggling to walk the straight and narrow is far too vague.

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    3. Returning from prison, a reformed ex-gang leader’s sister is raped and left for dead. With his stepmom blaming him, he struggles with reversion and hunts the culprits.

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    4. Returning from prison, a reformed ex-gang leader’s sister is raped and left for dead. With his stepmom blaming him, he struggles with reversion and hunts the culprits.

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    5. I like the ideas. My only suggestion would be to make it more surprising. Recidivism and revenge was exactly what I expected when I read the set-up. Recidivism is a well-known issue in our prison system, and an ex-con bent on revenge is tired. Why care should I care your story, when I can read it on the cnn website?

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    6. Thanks Timmy and Kriss. Appreciate your comments. His hunt for the truth is to find them, expose them and make them pay… Remember the ending of Black Rain? Carlito’s way? Not that my script is similar to those but its not what we think will happen, happens.

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