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cosmicnoodle
Posted: May 22, 20132013-05-22T06:10:48+10:00 2013-05-22T06:10:48+10:00In: Public

After accidentally discovering a superhero?s secret identity, a young psychiatrist is coerced into treating the various mental disorders of a group of eccentric crime-fighters.

Capital City

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    16 Reviews

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    1. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2013-05-22T14:21:35+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2013 at 2:21 pm

      What is your character’s flaw (and inner journey)?

      What are the stakes if the psychiatrist chooses not to become shrink-to-the-heroes?

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    2. nickt
      2013-05-22T14:28:26+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2013 at 2:28 pm

      I like this superhero story, which reads as if it will be told through a genre other than Action. It’s not clear what the genre is: Comedy? Thriller?

      The stakes are not clear. The young psychiatrist must treat the mental disorders… Before the villain confronts them?… Before they die of old age?…

      Try this: instead of ‘young’, psychiatrist, change it for an adjective which expresses more about his/her challenge… A child… or jilted… or corporate… or _____ psychologist,,,

      Thank you for sharing!

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    3. woobot
      2013-05-22T15:12:45+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      What nicholasandrewhalls said.

      But apart from that, this idea sounds like a lot of fun.

      Does the psychiatrist become a stand-in superhero when the heroes in treatment are too down to fight crime?

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    4. 2013-05-23T01:06:27+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 1:06 am

      Thanks for the feedback! Well, as far as flaws go, imagine the disturbing dichotomy of an individual with Superman’s powers and social responsibilities but Charlie Sheen’s love of Peruvian blow and revolving hookers. Surround him with a domestically violent, crime-fighting gay couple and a bulimic supermodel, whose vomit melts porcelain toilets. The psychiatrist is saved by the leader of THE GUILD, SERAPHIM, and offered the opportunity of a lifetime. Feeling indebted, he agrees. Once sworn to secrecy, he realizes that if he makes any attempts to expose what he knows, he will have his mind scrabbled, losing all of his memories, including those of his precious lost love.

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    5. dpg Singularity
      2013-05-23T02:11:33+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 2:11 am

      What’s your “B” Story? Why not make the shrink a woman?

      Are all the women nothing more than sex objects, whores? Way to go to attract the female demographic — NOT!

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    6. 2013-05-23T03:22:57+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 3:22 am

      Thanks DPG! No, they’re not all whores. Actually, the Dr’s dead fiance becomes a type of imaginary guide for him. Since he can’t tell another living soul, she become his confidant and assist him in helping the heroes. However, should he break his vow of secrecy, he loses her and his sanity.

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    7. dpg Singularity
      2013-05-23T04:07:29+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 4:07 am

      Put it that way, and you got something that could work as a “B” story. Shades and shadows the Jungian anima! Who is her inner ally. Now that is more interesting all than standard issue, formulaic bodacioius bling-bling.

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    8. 2013-05-23T06:32:03+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 6:32 am

      What do you mean? Something like this?

      After accidently discovering a superheroes secret identity, a young psychiatrist is coerced into treating the various mental disorders of a group of eccentric crime-fighters, at the peril of losing his own sanity and more importantly, the memories of his one true love.

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    9. dpg Singularity
      2013-05-23T06:37:13+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 6:37 am

      Clarification: what’s the genre? Super hero or a hybrid Super hero/comedy?

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    10. 2013-05-23T06:52:13+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 6:52 am

      Its a Dark Comedy…

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    11. 2013-05-23T07:24:21+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 7:24 am

      So the running gag is the shrink’s efforts to cure all these superhero-types with personality disorders?

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    12. 2013-05-23T07:26:03+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 7:26 am

      So the running gag is the shrink’s efforts to cure some super-hero types with personality disorders?

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    13. dpg Singularity
      2013-05-23T07:30:19+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 7:30 am

      So… the running gag is a shrink’s efforts to cure a bunch of super-hero types with personality disorders?

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    14. 2013-05-23T08:35:27+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 8:35 am

      Yes, Sir, that’s pretty much the depth of it. Also, it’s being developed as a series…

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    15. dpg Singularity
      2013-05-23T08:51:53+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 8:51 am

      I very much like that premise. But at this point I see some devils in the details of your current logline. Good luck refining your concept.

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    16. 2013-05-23T09:45:44+10:00Added an answer on May 23, 2013 at 9:45 am

      Thank you! I genuinely appreciate the feedback..

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