A quick note: It is polite, but also helpful to review other people’s loglines as well as posting your own. I believe somewhere on the site it mentions 2 reviews of other people’s posts for 1 logline post of your own. The reason I bring this up is because you’ve posted multiple loglines and from a quick glance, it seems many of them share similar problems, being too long included.? Reviewing other people’s loglines helps you to better understand the structure and components of loglines and in turn improves your own. Also, review the formula tab at the top of the page.

On the logline:?”After an 18 year old teenager who was born and raised on a safe space colony on Mars visits the post-apocalyptic Earth for the first time, he needs to find out,where he really belongs ? with his family up on the Mars, or down here on the Earth.” (48 words)

The goal is weak because it describes an internal decision. The logline also focuses too much on background, and the inciting incident should be a singular event which?forces the protagonist to pursue a goal he?must achieve. Said goal should describe something that evokes a visual image in the reader’s mind for the climax.

To break down all of the elements:

Inciting incident: Right now, the inciting incident is that he visits earth. Like I mentioned above, this is not going to work. What happens once he reaches the surface? Does he meet a love interest? What pulling factor makes him consider staying?

Protagonist: The protagonist actually sounds fairly interesting, whether or not the concept has been done before. No need to list an age, especially ’18’ as well as ‘teenager’, because an 18-year-old is a teenager. Preferably, describe a character trait, even better, a character flaw which will hinder him during the plot.

Goal: Currently, to make a decision. As I mentioned before, this isn’t a goal worthy of a film or television series. A decision takes an instant to decide, and it’s not something a viewer can see onscreen.

Antagonist: No external antagonist described. Is there one?

Here’s an example I’m making up, using some of the elements from your logline:?After he discovers a tribe at war, a Martian colonist on his first visit? to post-apocalyptic Earth must use his technology to help the tribe survive the night. (28 words)

Not a perfect example, and likely not the story you’ve come up with, but I made it up with the intent to include all of the elements to give you an example to study.
I hope this helps.