The Quest
After an Alien invasion leaves their planet in ruins, Impulsive and rebellious Jake must lead his friends in a galactic search to rescue thier families from the Aliens that captured them.
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This attempt is much better, however I would leave out the lead characters name, instead say something like: ‘an impulsive and rebellious teen must…’
Other than that, this is really good.
This describes a generic epic space journey much like many others as in 2015 most epic space journeys will sound generic.
What is it about this particular MC that makes this epic space journey special?
Why will this be such a feet for him specifically to achieve?
How will the major obstacle and antagonist be especially challenging for a person like him?
I think the answers to these questions are what will make this logline capture someones interest.
Hope this helps.
Bad and no Cuban cigar (but hey, I don’t smoke):
“When in 2055 an Alien invasion leaves Terra in ruins, an escaped space ‘outcast’ must lead his group of criminal misfits to rescue their only alibi (left)- their imprisoner; while fighting of the interstellar police and saving what’s left of the human race in its process” — Jake’s 7
“Blake’s 7” meets “The Magnificent Seven” meets “Timecop” meets Riverworld.
Ha-ha – hope the stakes are high enough now!
PS: Read the science fiction novel Riverworld and you know where the scene where Neo first wakes up in ‘the real world’ – comes forth… talking about ‘a few’ human batteries (for ‘experimental’ use).