After an elaborate conspiracy conducted to lure him in, a retrenched detective discovers a cult that promises him riches but the cult has more in store for him than what he bargained for. OR A desperate ex-cop joins a cult in order to save his family but the cult kidnaps his daughter for ‘slaughter’. He has to save her even if it means losing his own life.
LoratoLogliner
After an elaborate conspiracy conducted to lure him in, a retrenched detective discovers a cult that promises him riches but the cult has more in store for him than what he bargained for. OR A desperate ex-cop joins a cult in order to save his family but the cult kidnaps his daughter for ‘slaughter’. He has to save her even if it means losing his own life.
Share
A “retrenched detective” — what does that mean?
“…joins a cult in order to save his family…” ?– save his family from what?
And it’s not the cult that ?kidnaps his daughter — it would be the cult leader who orders his followers to kidnap her. ?The logline should clearly ID the antagonist.
Why does the cult leader want to kill the daughter?
I don’t understand what the motivation is for either the protagonist getting involved or the antagonist wanting to kill.
What Richiev suggested.
Your second logline option is better but lacks coherence – Richiev fixed it.
“When an Armageddon cult that worships?Moloch kidnaps his daughter, a retired detective with a certain skill set must traverse the dark world of Neo-Paganism in order to save his daughter from being sacrificed to the fire god.”