After an ex-police officer commits suicide, he finds that he must now spend his ‘life’ saving the lives of those who died before their time.
obie1productionsLogliner
After an ex-police officer commits suicide, he finds that he must now spend his ‘life’ saving the lives of those who died before their time.
Share
Agreed with all the above.
Also the inciting incident is of his own doing, but good inciting incidents are thrust onto the MC. By having the event come from an external force the MC is made to take action to fix something that happened out of the ordinary, other wise if he caused it then it’s not unexpected and mostly by his own fault – correcting this will only bring him back to a neutral state instead of being better off than he was before the inciting incident.
How does he save people who have died? I feel like I might be missing something because that statement literally makes no sense to me. Thanks.
I am not seeing the ‘why?’ What is at the end of the tunnel if he succeeds? What is the consequence of failure?
Here would be an example of what I mean:
—–
“After he commits suicide, an ex police officer must save those who he would have save if alive, in order to go to heaven and see his little girl again.”
—–
Now the police officer has a goal, get to heaven to see his child who died, and the price of?failure?is living eternity without her.
In your logline line you have told us he ‘must’ save those who died before their time, but haven’t give us the ‘or else’ to tell us what happens if he fails.
Hope that helps, good luck with this
So what’s his dramatic problem? ?Seems like he’s been given a 2nd chance to redeem himself from his 1st life failure. ?
(Is this a setup for series or a feature film?)