–
Share
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Kendra,
Okay, since the script is written, then for the purpose of formulating a logline, I would ask:? what’s the story hook?? (In my book, the story hook, aka: the grab, is the most important element to consider in writing an effective logline.)
The answer to that question may come from asking another one::? what hooked you on the story?? What was so unique and interesting about the story that kept you going, that? motivated you to invest all the time and effort in writing the script?
Kendra:
A positive suggestion.? If you want to send your protagonist (for whatever reason, by whatever means) into the past, I suggest dropping her into the middle of a slave rebellion in the ante-bellum South.? There are dozens ofrebellions to choose from.
You describe her as a photographer.? Okay, she could be photographing sites of slave rebellions.? Like the remains of “Fort Negro” in the Florida panhandle, the site of a bloody battle in 1816 between former and runaway slaves and a US Army incursion into what was then Spanish Florida.
And during the course of the battle, she discovers she is fighting alongside her ancestors.? And therein is the “why”, the reason for her time travel. The ghosts of her ancestors have drawn her back to be be aware of,? to be a witness to their heroic, but doomed, battle for freedom.
Oh, and she could take photos of the rebellion.? But when she returns to the present, the images on the memory card have been erased.? But no the images indelibly stored in her mind.
IOW: give her struggle and suffering greater scope and meaning.
fwiw
Kendra,
I apologize for giving offense with my feedback.? I could have, should have, been more tactful.? Hence, why I retracted my review, (However, I stand by the points I made.)
Regrets and regards,
I agree with the others. Receiving criticism is never easy but, as Richiev said, it’s kinda down to how you interpret it. Just know that everyone here is in the same boat. We are all trying to write good stories and every bit of feedback you receive should be helpful (even if it may feel overly negative). If someone is just being a dick… ignore them. It’s not worth the effort!
In my experience, people comment less on a logline that’s not too bad or even pretty good. I think that’s the nature of this logline beast to be honest – most of the comments you receive will probably be more critical BUT you have the right to reply. But it is most definitely not personal and shouldn’t be taken that way. There have been times in the past where I have taken comments too personally, and I’m sure others have too, but I always try and remember that the only person who has all the information about my idea is me. The only bit that everyone else has is whatever 35 or so words I choose to put in the logline. If something is unclear, or prompts questions, then I expect someone to highlight it… more than that, I want?someone to highlight it. The comments I receive here are likely to reflect comments that a potential producer would have so if I can get as few comments here as possible, I know that there’s a chance a producer might at least give it a chance.
Ultimately, as thedarkhorse said, take what you need. Nobody else is going to write it but you. Trust yourself because you know what you’re trying to achieve.
Take what you need. Discard the rest.
Nobody here is perfect.
Just make sure you’re writing what you want to see. Not someone else’s idea.
The problem is that constructive feedback’s in the eye of the beholder.
If I give feedback it’s constructive.
If I receive feedback and I don’t like it, it’s trolling.