After being abandoned by his wife, a middle aged British man relocates to Bangkok and works as a teacher; this move gives him many hilarious experiences.
NaiBKKLogliner
After being abandoned by his wife, a middle aged British man relocates to Bangkok and works as a teacher; this move gives him many hilarious experiences.
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Ok, getting better, now you have to give us an obstacle.
He moves to Bangkok… What is standing in his way?
Story is conflict. Without conflict there is no story. What is the conflict in your story?
Hi NaiBKK,
You have your inciting incident, your MC, and his main course of action.
But, as Richiev asked, what is standing in his way? This is where an antagonist of some sort should come into play.
Plus, consider setting a goal for your MC; if you already have it, maybe include that in your next revision: His wife abandons him, so, he goes to Bangkok for a teaching position–to do/accomplish what?
Good luck!
Thank you, for all your help.
This is actually based on a true story and would be best as a TV series. There really isn?t any conflict or a protagonist, it?s about different English speaking nationalities (British, Americans, Canadians, Australians, Irish) becoming friends as teachers in Bangkok and the humorous (true) situations they get themselves into. What would be the best way to go about constructing a log line for a true story like that?
NaiBKK.
As mentioned above, there are a few crucial elements missing in the logline.
Being based on real events is a strong point and would make for a great addition to the pitch, however?in this case it may not add much value to the logline. Based on real events strengthens a logline if it’s a film telling a?story in a single dramatic premise, but if it is a series then the concept will be sold on the strength of the character not the premise. As characters on screen will be vastly different to those in real life, adding “real”?as a qualifier won’t necessarily help in this case – it’ll only take up precious logline real-estate.
The best way to write logline for a serial concept is by drafting a logline for the pilot. It’s with the pilot that you will establish and sell the characters in the series.
So I suggest you re think your approach, and pick the funniest situation from the lives of the characters then?dramatise it for the screen. After that you can?create a logline for the ?particular premise of the pilot.
Lastly, and as mentioned before in your other posts, avoid such generic descriptions as “…gives him many hilarious experiences?” – they contribute no information about the plot.
When you say, there isn’t any conflict… I have to be a little worried.
Rules are made to be broken, That is true but the one rule that would be hard to break is the rule “Story is Conflict”
Not only should your overall story have conflict, every episode should have conflict and every scene should have conflict. I am not sure how you can get around that rule.