Raised by Wolves
Paul ClarkeSamurai
After being accused of murder, a na?ve secret agent searches for answers, only to find herself completely unequipped for life outside her sheltered little world.
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I like it thus far, and the title really stands out, but we need to know why she is unequipped for the outside world and what are the potential problems she will face. The set up works fine but need to know a better obstacle and what she must do to overcome it.
It seems vague. It doesn’t feel like you’re telling me the story, but describing the conventions of the genre. You know, a thriller is about a naive “everyday person” who gets thrown into a very dangerous world.
What does “search for answers” mean? Isn’t her goal to prove she’s innocent? And it’s hard to believe a secret agent would be “naive”. Or live in a sheltered world. Double-crossed, betrayed, yes, but naive and sheltered?