Black Godfather
ValentinSamurai
After being rejected by his Italo-American mafioso father, a mixed race lawyer decides to exact revenge by building his own criminal empire and destroying his father's.
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Because you say his goal is destroying his father, you don’t need to say exact revenge or vice versa.
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“Rejected by his mafioso father, a mixed race lawyer build’s his own criminal empire to destroy his father.”
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“Rejected by his mafioso father, a mixed race lawyer exacts revenge by building his own criminal empire.”
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Hope that helped, good luck with this!
I prefer your first proposal.
Rejected by his mafioso father, a mixed race lawyer build?s his own criminal empire to destroy his father.?
However I am not sure how to insert the fact that the son is the illegitimate son of the Mafiosi father.
I am trying to write an inverse story of Leroy Nicky Barnes, a black petty criminal whom John Gallo the Italo-American boss befriended and taught how to run a criminal organisation. Nicky Barnes created ‘The Council’ and I am pretty sure that the TV show ‘Person of Interest’ used him as a source for the boss of HR.
He starts innocent and angered at the fact that his father refuse to recognise him and pretend to live that fake respectable life. However in the end he lives the same life than his father. He is a criminal masquerading as a business man and he has an illegitimate son that he abandons to further his own career.
When a mafioso father rejects his bastard son by a Black woman, the son builds his own criminal empire to take down his father.
I think it’s a concept with a lot of dramatic potential. Best of luck.
I have been told that Godfather IV was going to have a similar story, focusing on Sonny illegitimate son played by Andy Garcia. Since Enzo Puzo’s death, nobody really want to work on it.
As a trivia, Eddie Murphy was contacted to play Leroy Nicky Barnes or somebody similar in Godfather III, however they completely rewrote the script and removed his character from the script.
My only qualm about the story is the choice of the Italian-Sicilian mafia. IMHO, that group has been overused and, in real life, has become rather outdated. Though still a force to be reckoned with, the Sicilian mafia has lost its hegemony in the U.S. So many other syndicates have muscled their way into the American way of life and claimed a piece of the action. Like the Colombians, the Mexican cartel gangs, MS-13 (San Salvador), the Russian Mafia, the Triad, the Aryan Brotherhood.
Just saying.
True that the Sicilian mafia is not the force that it used to be.
The FBI, plus a lot of the old guard is now either in jail, dead or has moved onto legal activities.
The problem with the new mafia you named is that 25 years ago they were not as established.
With the exception of the Russian mafia, most were really just gang, violent but just small gang.
They need to be able to pretend to be just hard worker with a small business.
The other aspect is that I want the mafia don to hesitate between going legit and losing his territories or continue the illegal activities and face other gangs muscling on his turf.
The illegitimate son is the leader of one of the most aggressive new gang, but the father does not know that fact until two thirds of the movie. He then lose his rag and start a violent war that ultimately he loses.
The son is initially an idealistic lawyer who learns when his adoptive cop dad dies that he was adopted.
He contacts his father who pretend to be a honest business man.
As he is lawyer, he offers to help with that.
At the beginning, the relationship and the business are good.
Unfortunately the legit business (real estate) hits a snag, so he needs more cash from his illegal activities.
His Mafia partners do not like the fact that he has a black son.
In order to appease them, he rejects the son.
The son anonymously denounces him, causing the break up of the partnership. The father suspect him.
Instead of bringing them closer, it increases the rift.
By now the other gang (he met them during his work as a lawyer) who benefited from the police intervention think that they can rely on him and he become their de facto leader.
His initial girlfriend is nice, but she can’t compete with the sex appeal of his step sister. That add another aspect to the relationship between son, father, mother-in-law (a real lucrece Borgia).
In the end, he chose to marry his step sister as a way back in the family.
Like his father did he abandon his girlfriend for power and money.
I agree.
>>> that 25 years ago they were not as established.
Well, if you’re story is set in the past, 25 years ago, instead of the present….
I am wondering if it may be better if your biracial son would bring down his father by establishing a legit business in which he turns out to be as ruthless as his father (a la Wall Street) and destroy his father that way. It’s not better, but different and it can focus more on the fractured father-son relationship, as well as the similarity between the criminality of de facto criminals and ruthless ‘legit’ businesses who use the law and business for their own ends and wreaking as much havoc as the mafiosi. Just an idea. I think the racism of the father’s associates is a red herring. It would have erupted as the son was growing up if they felt so strongly about it.
The don and his associates were not aware of the illegitimate son’s existence.
Only when the adoptive father dies, is the son made aware of the existence of his biological father.
Regarding corporate raiding and other malfeasance, I have an idea for another script about health and pharmacology company making millions immorally but legally.
I want that script to focus on the relationship between father and son. I intend to have the film starting and finishing with the same scene but different characters. At the beginning, the scene will play with the father rejecting his singer girlfriend to marry the daughter of his boss. The last scene, the son rejecting his lawyer girlfriend to marry his stepsister daughter of a mafia don.
OK, let me get this straight. Neither the son, nor the father are aware of each other’s existence until the stepfather dies? Is he black or white? Where’s the mother? I can assume she is dead?
If neither knew of the other, the strong reaction from the son doesn’t make sense. Is he an honest lawyer, or one with a crooked bent? If he is honest, why would he turn? If he is crooked, why does he need to take down the father? He didn’t know about him and did well before, so what difference does it make? I mean as it stands there’s no emotional baggage that I see. There’s no reason for the son to react so strongly. At least, that’s what it seems to me from what I have been told. Obviously there’s more.
Initially none of them are aware of the existence of the other one.
When the stepfather dies that the truth is revealed.
The stepfather is white. He is a cop who was in love with the mother.
When the mother was killed, the stepfather just adopted the baby passing him as his own son.
Once made aware of each other, father and son start to have a relationship.
Pushed by the son who is a young idealist lawyer, the father tries to make it work.
He even involves him in his legit business.
Behind the scene, the wife and his crime partners do not want the father to go legit.
The wife because the legit business will not bring as much money as the illegal.
The partners because they do not know anything else.
Both see the son as a threat.
When the legit business fails, the father is coerced by the wife and the crime partners to ditch the son and refocus on the illegal stuff.
The son arranges for a police raid, so his father’s criminal activities would also fail.
However instead of bringing his father back into the legit world, it just increases the rift.
‘You remind me of your mother. Always trying to tell me what to do.’
During the heat of the dispute, the father reveals that he ordered the hit on his baby mother.
He had been told that by a friend of his adoptive father but his biological father had previously denied that. Calling that libellous rumour and jealous gossip.
The son then tries to get him convicted of that crime, but he fails. One witness dies (killed) and the other recants. The grand jury find that there is not enough evidence against the father. The son can’t win obeying the law. Full of rage, he decides to destroy his father by any mean necessary.
Because he was involved with gang members via his work as pro bono lawyer, he uses those connections to help a gang muscle on his dad’s turf.
Well, that makes much more sense, but watch your typing. Who was the hit aimed at? The son’s baby mother? Who? …. In any case, it seems to me that, there are only losers in this story. The boy has his revenge, but loses his soul. Is that right? So it’s a Shakespearean tragedy? I like it, but still not quite clear in some places.
I ran it through my word processor.
After being rejected by his Italo-American Mafioso father, a mixed race lawyer decides to exact revenge by building his own criminal empire and destroying his father’s.
“Mafioso” not “mafioso”.
Exactly. It is a Shakespearean tragedy. There is only losers.
The boy has his revenge on a despised father, but loses his soul. In fact he becomes the same type man than the father he loathes so much.
Like I said the script starts and finishes with the same scene: a man rejecting his pregnant girlfriend and closing the door on her. Symbolically he is closing the door on the good man he was and could have been.
The cycle can repeat itself with the next generation.
Interesting, I like. Look forward to seeing it. Good luck. Still tighten up the logline, though.
Can you get specific about what “being rejected by his father” looks like?
“After his king-pin father kicks him out of home, a mixed-race lawyer seeks vengeance by giving up the pursuit of justice to build a rival criminal empire.”
Hmmm … kicking out of home is not big enough. it must be something MASSIVE to make him want to devote his life to destroying his father, right? So say what it is in your logline.
Also … what happens if he fails?
Read the synopsis in the discussion that I had with Elizabeth Ban.
With respect, no. I won’t read your synopsis – that’s not how loglines work. If your logline doesn’t work, that’s as far as it goes. The person you’re selling to says “not interested.”
If they think the logline works crazy well, on the other hand, then they might want to read the synopsis.
What we’re able to identify here is that instead of me and the other people commenting seeking more information because your logline caught our collective imagination, we’re actually noticing gaps in logic or problems with the stakes of your story. These need to be corrected, and inserted into the logline, and THEN if it sounds great, I’ll spend the time reading your synopsis. But I won’t do it before.
Could you give my log line a once over? I have been given several suggestions, but I am not sure which one to either pick or to cut and paste together. Thank you.
Latest version that explains more of the protagonist’s motive.
When the illegitimate son of a Mafia don learns that years ago his estranged father ordered the hit on his mother, he builds his own criminal empire to destroy his father.
That makes a lot more sense. But did his mother die? I would specify that.
‘When the illegitimate son of a Mafia don learns that his estranged father ordered the hit that killed his mother, he builds his own criminal empire to destroy his father.’