Ring of Wishes
After deciding to take his dog for a walk in the forest, he finds himself with a wooden box that possesses a powerful ring, but there is someone else, who wants the power.
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Since so much needs to be said in a logline, it’s important to know what to cut and what to keep.
Fore-instance, I would cut “After deciding to take his dog for a walk in the forest,” Since going on a walk doesn’t sound important to the story.
I would also cut “he finds himself with a wooden box,” because the ring’s important, not what material the box is made of.
-After finding a powerful ring-
Next you should give us a glimpse of the main character, You simply refer to him as “He”
How about, -A gruff woodsman-
Next you should do the same for the Antagonist. You simply refer to him as “Someone Else”
How about, -A greedy Wizard-
Now you should tell us what the hero needs to “Do”
-He must protect the ring in order to save the world-
Now let’s try to put this together, maybe make a few small changes and see what comes up.
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“After finding a powerful ring, a gruff woodsman must keep the magical relic from a greedy wizard in order to save the world.”
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Your logline can be different of course, it might not be a ‘Gruff Woodsman’ but a ‘Lonely Baker’ but hopefully you see how I put this together.
I have, good guy, his goal or what he needs to do, who or what is standing in his way and what the stakes are.
Hope this helped. Good luck with this!
Thank you for you kind words. I have updated it to “After finding a powerful ring, a white-collar man must keep the magical relic from a greedy other dimensional man in order to save the world.”
That is definitely better Forrest. You could even get more specific if you wanted. Instead of White-collar man you could say Banker or Stockbroker in order to give more description to the reader.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!