Prison Actually
After falling for the woman who defrauded his company, a now bankrupt playboy hatches the perfect plan to win her heart: he'll bust her out of prison.
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Hmmm… It sounds like there’s a good story in there but I’m not getting it completely.
I can see what Act 2 is about: he’s trying to get her out of prison. But where does the story really start? With the fraude – or the falling in love?
Romantic films need to give the heroes plenty of opportunity to share the screen. Is this the case here? I understand that she is going to be in prison for all of Act 2, while he is on the outside… May be a problem.
Finally: are we going to believe that love has anything to do with doing someone a favor?
I like it! Of course being a diehard romantic I’m imagining gorgeous lead actors, lots of impossibly witty repartee, broken hearts that mend again (of course), fabulously silly stunts and slick set pieces – think Mission Impossible meets Arthur (without the whiskey – or with, depends how tricky the jailbreak is). Good job. Now write it! JUDGE FOUNDIS
I like it. Simple, gets the point across. An original twist on the break-out genre. I’m assuming it’s more of a comedy. I think this could make a good story.
It has many desirable elements. There’s the irony of having a playboy (I’m assuming he’s a bit of a player) falling in love. And that she’s the very woman responsible for him being bankrupt. He has a clear goal, break her out. Obstacles, a prison is designed to keep people in. And stakes, he could end up in jail himself if he’s caught (a possible comedic ending?)
I think this logline is solid enough to start fleshing out the story.
Paul Clarke (Judge)
There are contradictorary elements here that border on the not credible. A playboy that is a company director? A company proprietor who is willing to forgive the cleaning out of his company? A man accustomed to being rich – who is now bankrupt – desires to go to the trouble of organising a prison break rather than the re-establishment of his wealth? People do crazy things for love but this is really stretching it. Also the writers here clearly have no real world understanding of how much effort it takes to build up a successful business. Anyone who has built a business is far more likely to take a contract out on this woman’s life than help her in any way.
A far more compelling story would be this man having an office affair with this woman while she is still employed by his company. Then, despite his first intentions, he falls in love with her. And THEN she runs off the company’s money. Thus forcing him into having to make a heart-wrenching decision about what he truly values in life – love or money.
Steven Fernandez (Judge)
Really intriguing. The logline is full of irony which gives the idea a real unusual spin. The prison break is something we have all seen before but this is a really original approach to it. Only thing is I’m slightly unsure on the genre. Feels like it could be a comedy, thriller or action? The term playboy highlights the character but perhaps brings a comedy element to it. A great idea though which ever way you play it.