Penpusher
Posted: 2017-05-09T13:15:25+10:00 In:

After falling pregnant on a one night stand, a woman forms a unique bond with her child?s dying paternal grandmother.

After falling pregnant on a one night stand, a woman forms a unique bond with her child?s dying paternal grandmother.
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    5 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      Thanks everyone. I had a feeling I’d get this kind of response. It’s all written, I know the hook, I just need to work out how to explain it quickly. I’ll be back.

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    2. Logliner
      Agree about needing to specify goal and conflict. Here are some thoughts you might want to toss around. Is the woman married to/engaged to another man? Is she a lesbian? ?Is the paternal grandmother dying of a genetic disease that may have been passed on to the baby??Will the unique bond survive if she aborts the baby? Would stem cells from the baby save the grandmother or vice versa? Lots of places you can go with this. Keep at it.
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    3. Logliner

      Nothing to hook read. No conflict, or what the hero wants.? So missing conflict and goal.

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    4. Singularity

      Agreed with Richiev.

      What does the woman want? What is her goal?

      What is her flaw?

      In essence, this is a situation, not a plot.

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    5. Singularity

      Story is conflict… You haven’t given us any conflict.

      • 0