Singularity
Posted: 2020-02-24T19:05:17+10:00 In:

After finally arriving home after months in hospital with leukemia, a pragmatic pharmaceutical statistician struggles with ?normal? life as he builds himself back up to running 10k races again.

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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Crystalise the goal of running in a single event. Make him want to compete in a specific marathon or win it, otherwise, building himself up is an ongoing ambition, not a goal.

      Also, it would be better to word it so that one particular event motivated him to do so. After a near-death experience, or after surviving cancer…

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    2. Singularity

      I really like the idea. As for the logline, my question would be…

      What are the stakes? (What will the lead character lose if he doesn’t build himself back into running shape?)

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    3. Samurai

      Hi Mike, when I read this, I thought of ‘Stronger’ for some reason… must be just the running element triggered something in my mind. ?Having said that, I wonder if there is something to be said for a part of feedback being exactly that – “your logline reminded me of xxx”? ?If it does this to me, would it do it to a potential producer and would that be a good or bad thing?

      Anyhow:

      • “After finally arriving home after months in hospital with leukaemia” – consider “After receiving the all clear from leukaemia”.
      • I had to google pharmaceutical statistician LOL… Is it his job and his pragmatism that is going to cause a lot of internal or external conflict (or both)? ?I can totally see this guy who is all about figures and practicality struggling to cope with the random nature of both illness and recovery.
      • Why does he run? ?What is it in his character that drives this desire? ?To keep fit, to push himself?
      • I wonder if his goal is a specific race – like a once a year marathon or the like?
      • I also wonder if giving him a different goal may be worth considering? ?Something that would marry his pragmatic brain/need for order with his need to accept not all things can be analysed or predicted?
      • Is your inciting incident his all clear from leukaemia?
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