Penpusher
Posted: 2017-02-02T05:42:27+10:00 In:

After her employers die in a city wide pandemic an Upper West Side nanny must navigate the violent streets to save their young son and put him on the last boat to safety.

After her employers die in a city wide pandemic an Upper West Side nanny must navigate the violent streets to save their young son and put him on the last boat to safety.
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    6 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Logliner

      Hi hannibalchew. I agree with those above that mention the fact that saving a boy who’s not her son is not much of a convincing motivation. In my opinion, her goal should be to save her son after she witnesses what happens to her employers’ son. As a matter of fact, the inciting incident may well be this particular situation, a fact that sets her plan on. Moreover, maybe this virus only afects small children, so you add up some suspense to the fact that she isn’t quite sure that her boy is completely safe until she saves him. In other words, it’s a nanny dealing with infected zombified children. I like the fact that this sounds like a non-stop zombie action flick, kind of a straightforward classic video game. Cheers.

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      This is not maternal love, it’s a nanny caring for a boy – you would have to qualify her feelings with her being overly attached to this one child. If she were his mother, on the other hand, no explanations needed – genuine maternal love is a strong primal motivator clear to all.

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    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      I believe if there is city wide breakout of some disease, it would not be a pandemic. I would use the term epidemic instead. Pandemic would be a term if the outbreak was worldwide.

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    4. Best Answer
      Mentor

      Not sure why the boy is so special, why should she save him and not others. Also, as mentioned, is the pandemic still killing people.

      I would maybe have her infected, but the child is immune and is wanted by those who’ll control the cure and she needs to get him to someone who’ll create the cure for free.

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    5. Best Answer
      Logliner

      Hi hannibalchew,

      Thanks for sharing your logline.

      I’m not seeing the significance of her employers dying. Does that mean the company she was working for ?is out of business because of a flu virus (or something). How does that event cause her to have to go find her son. Where is he? Pandemic is a spread of disease but it wouldn’t happen in a flash. If NY was hit by an atomic bomb or something then she might have to leave her place of employment to ?run to get him at the daycare center. I only give that example to show how the action needs to provoke the response. The pieces you have here don’t quite connect.

      Good luck with this.

      Cheers, SouthWestSusie 🙂

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    6. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Is the pandemic still killing people? If so her goal is to get to the boy before she or he die, this is a ticking time bomb. The obstacle becomes the distance from her house to the boy, but is there anything else stopping her from safetly getting to the boy? It seems a bit lackluster otherwise.

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