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samsonyanePenpusher
After her family is killed, a young woman escapes in order to avoid the same fate only to discover a family secret that will soon have her running back home in order to confront those who hurt her family.
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“When she discovers the secret of who murdered her family, a (young woman) does the one thing she’s vowed to never do, go back home, to get revenge on those who took away everything from her and her loved ones.”
I put “Young Woman” in parenthesis because it needs to be changed, What is her personality, who is she, give a two or three-word description of the character.
The only question I have is, escapes what?
Running back home doesn’t tell me that was the place she escaped.
Plus hurt her family seems a weak description for killing.? You could use “those responsible”, saves words.
I look forward to reading a rewrite is you post one.