Logliner
Posted: 2018-01-07T03:23:15+10:00 In:

After his father’s second marriage, a teenage boy learns to navigate his new life, only to discover his stepmom’s a narcissist..

title “momster”

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    5 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      I would like to follow up my previous post. I think the concept of a narcissistic step-mother would provide the raw ore for a comedy, more so than for a drama.? But the ore needs refining.?

      ?A logline describes a? plot.? And a plot is? a story framed from the point of view of the protagonist.? In this case, that’s the boy.? So? what is the specific complication that an “all about me” step mom creates in a story that is nominally “all about him”.? What Big Dream of his is threatened by her personality disorder?

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Comedy might work well for this concept.

      Like DPG, I don’t find the stepmum as a “…narcissist…” a big enough of a problem to be story worthy. Best you give her negative characteristics a practical implementation that impacts the MC’s life in a significant way.

      What’s the worst thing she did to him?

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    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      >>>only to discover his stepmom?s a narcissist

      So what?? What specific dramatic problem arises as a result that he MUST resolve?? How does “navigate his new life” translate into a specific objective goal?

      Having a step mom who is a narcissist is a pain, no doubt,? but there are far worse things a parent can be. Like she could be an alcoholic or bipolar or physically abusive or a binge eater or a compulsive shop lifter.? To name a few.

      As long as she’s only living in his house, instead of the White House what’s to worry about?

      There might be a good drama here. Or even a comedy.? But I think the conflict and the stakes need focus and amplification.

      fwiw

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    4. Best Answer
      Logliner

      I was thinking about comedy
      Also could the subplot be “him trying to find his biological mother”?

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    5. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      what’s his specific, visual, objective goal?
      (could be some event he’s looking forward to while his new mom acts as the force of conflict..)

      at this stage, the plot looks a little biased,
      shouldn’t it also reveal the other faces of the dice?
      (If you still choose to go with an evil-stepmom premise, you might wanna exercise your freedom in a comedy instead, otherwise it would hurt good stepmoms trying their best to hold their families together)

      …then walk away like “team america world police”
      (full of clich?s and yet a superb film structure)

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