Liquid and Dust
Alan SmitheePenpusher
After killing her abusive husband, a desperate woman avoids detection by destroying the evidence, will this clandestine, gory and surreal mother-daughter journey be exposed by the ex-cop next door?
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It would probably be good to avoid having questions in a logline
“When she kills her husband after discovering he abused their daughter, a desperate mother must hide the evidence to avoid discovery by her husband’s best friend; their ex-cop neighbor.”
Are they on the run and he is a new neighbour? Did they kill him and hide the body? Did she kill him and make it look like an accident? These are all parts that I sort of need. What is the relationship with the neighbour?
After disguising killing her husband as a home invasion a wife and daughter must…. after her ex-cop neighbour start making his own enquires.
Disguising the murder of her abusive husband as natural causes a mother and daughter come under the eye of their ex-cop neighbour forcing them to …… so ……
That sort of thing.
You should avoid leaving a logline open ended, and stick closer to the intended formula of a logline, for example using when, A, must