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bondthewriterPenpusher
Posted: February 23, 20132013-02-23T04:24:23+10:00 2013-02-23T04:24:23+10:00In: Public

After learning his long lost brother is a test subject in a government experiment, a reckless government agent teams with terrorists in a post-apocalyptic wasteland to mount a rescue.

ShadowRangers

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    1. timmyelliot
      2013-02-23T05:54:40+10:00Added an answer on February 23, 2013 at 5:54 am

      I know you really want to say that the setting is a post-apocalyptic wasteland, but I don’t think it works where you put it. To me, it reads smoother this way, “… a reckless gov agent teams with terrorists to mount a rescue.”

      My last comment is more aesthetic. You waited until the middle of the sentence to tell us who the sentence was about. Personally, I think it could be stronger if you started the sentence with the subject. For instance, do this, “A reckless government agent learns… and teams with terrorists…”

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